Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Give me land, lots of land, 'neath the starry skies above, so I won't have to drive a bug.

 

Trigger was a smart ride.

 

Yeah, must say Trigger in that canteen did just as fine as Bonfire at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, although looking at that horse makes me happy too . .

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Here's a song by Leighton Watts about that sad day in July '65 . .

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Roy tells in the 90's about rearing Trigger . .

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And as this is the jokes thread, I'll post some fun with Trigger too . .

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Kenny: You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me Loose Wheel​

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I'll might get back to that Smart forfour ad later, as not a single of the three lines in it is true, no joke, just a common thing with many ads . .

P.S. - - Oh well, maybe that's why it was posted on the jokes thread, but I still might get back to it later . .

 

Of course all this horse stuff is boat related, since we all know the main course of all this training is to learn them how to drive a trailer backwards down a boat ramp, as my friends show at Trace Lake, in Pontotoc, Mississippi . . .

Two Amish fishermen reverse their HORSES down a boat ramp in Mississippi to launch their foot-powered dinghy . . .

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Smart car (small wheels, short wheel base) + expansion joints + pot holes + 10 years = lower back problems

 

What if all those times in pirate movies the Captains weren't saying "arrrr" but were correcting their crew's grammar ("Are!")?

 

Probably old for some of us but too funny not to let it show.

 

Found on facebook:

 

A Limbo champion walks into a bar. He's disqualified...

 

I'll guess this limbo lass works in a bar, and luckily she didn't walk into a car . . ​

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She's just checking the exhaust while serving drinks, I think . . ​

 

Easy, If I was that slender it would be a piece of cake for me as well.

 

A woman in a supermarket was following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson who was screaming for candy, cookies, all sorts of things.

The grandpa kept saying in a soothing, controlled voice things like:

"Easy,Pete, we won't be long-easy, boy."

... or ...

"It's okay, Pete. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, son."

At the checkout the little horror started throwing things out of the shopping cart; but, Grandpa kept his cool and said: "Pete, Pete, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool, Pete."

The woman was VERY impressed and followed the man out of the store. When she found him loading groceries into his car -- the child was STILL screaming angrily -- she told the man how impressed she was, what an amazing Grandpa he was to keep patiently reassuring and trying to calm Pete. Finally saying: "Pete is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the Grandpa, "but I am Pete. This little twerp's name is Kevin."

 

Good one.