Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

The name of a little Welsh town "L...GOHGOHGOH" of something, around 27 letters - the sign is almost longer than the railway station platform

 

Typewriter

(The name of that Welsh town isn't English, and anyway it starts with an 'L'. Nice try though.)

 

A penguin walked into a bar.
The bartender asked him what he needs.
The penguin asked if the bartender has seen his brother.
So the bartender asked him what his brother looked like.

 

"Robot Bartender"

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

 

thayut thayur ius a hoot!

 

Obama got an overwhelmong majority didn't he??

 

I know I am overwhelmonged.

A duck, a nun and a penguin walked into a bar.
The bartender looked up and said,"What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

Guter nacht, Herr apex1

 

Oh builders who disguise a piratical plank, for walking of the end, type, - - - and call it an Aquatic diving board for the children to play - the most important part, the convenient staircase (starting some 3 or so feet below the surface of the water so that, the joys of your heart, can return to said vessel with minimum delay, difficulty and effort (an escalator?)... is not mentioned?

 

Das ist so richtig!

 

Cut a big hole in the side so the little darlings can just swim back in and an elevator to the top deck so they can repeat the process? - may be cheaper to install a salt water swimming pool midships (between the forward mast and the bridge?) - - replenish after sundown with fresh water and either heat or cool for the adults to relax and enjoy their sundowners before dinner...

'tis the silly season - must be?

 

yes, but we did not need a "diving board", just jumped from a convenient bridge, tree or swing on a rope... sort of made good use of what was around... for free as we were not rich

 

Gott mitt die kleinen Kinderen.

 

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. So, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and the village should collect firewood to be prepared.

Then, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.

A week later he called the Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man at Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.

Two weeks later the Chief called the Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

 

Sorry Bamby approval to donate "rep points" denied as I have already given ...