Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

I found one of those, oh a few years back now, i think it was stainless so it was a rare find, it even had the makers name on it.

Its got a black end to it above the rest and the dodger is a bit rusty but apart from that its in good nick, have you got instructions for yours?

I cant decide if the thumb screw needs to be in or out?

 

Sexy Potty Blonde...

Hello...

I was walking the beaches of Calais - there was a blonde with a tatoo of a shellfish on her inner thigh...

I asked her why - a shellfish on her inner thigh...

She replied...

If you put your ear to it you can smell the sea....

Ah - yeah - I see ...

I replied...

Walked on to a brunette...

SH.

 

special tool

Frosty, you are real lucky to have a stainless steel one-- they last forever. Really enjoyed trying it out and it works just great. The thumb screw should be all the way in. No instructions came with mine but I figured it out w/o any problems. Stan

 

I was told that you gotta use plenty of water but it can get a bit messy on overhead work. Oh and a just a touch of oil on the rest block .I think thats maybe for the thumb screw adjustment.

It really is a labour saver and I would never part with it now. What used to take hours I can now do in a day.

 

Do we really want to know, Frosty / Stan?

 

It is a joke for the sophisticated....

 

new tool

Frosty, on the left underside ( I guess that depends if your left or right handed ) is a 5" long square tube capped on the end. About 1" from the base is a flush head machine screw. I think the square tube is a vacumn condenser.
Taped to my handle was a 1/4" x 5" sort of pitot tube with a hollow threaded male end. This goes in where the machine screw is and then you attatch a piece of rubber hose to carry away the dribbles when when using in a inverted position. You might be missing the screw in the square tube. Mine is 3/16" thread and 7/16" long. Stan Hope that helps.
PS I made a post under propulsion re: paddlewheel. I would appreciate your input or anybody else. Thanks

 

Now I am really fascinated - got any pics or drawings? http://www.welchco.com/sd/08/00101/02/90/03/03/221844.HTM#LS4M ? this? - - - - As a diversion, how about a "whacko Jacko" patented invention http://www.buzzle.com/articles/122678.html

 

Oh jeez your is a much more sophisticated model than mine. I do have a vacuum condenser, but ive not used that bit as I don't use it on non painted surfaces yet.

Did you know these things can be used on Glass?

If you google it you will find that they have been around a long time and were originally for finishing hang mans door hinges so that they were sure it would not jam shut and trap the executioners finger.

 

This early morning having coffee with the guys, I showed it off and explaned how it would save time. I had an offer of $200.00 to sell it--but where would I ever find another?? Paid $20 bucks for it 2 days ago--that would be a great return......................................Stan I'm going to price it out and determine what it would cost to reproduce it and will let you know.

 

I just googled more on the executioner thing. Apparantly health and saftey officers declared the gallows unsafe.

The executioner was not allowed to stand near the prisoner dues to the hight of the gallows and the slight possability of falling off and hurting oneself when the rope came tight and jolting the structure. So the executioner was moved to the ground.

Also the lever was rough and unfinished, hang men constantly complained of feeling discomfort on there hands, hence the moisturising creams used today.

These specialist tools were developed for these safety features.

 

Here is mine ,--as you can see it is stainless steel and I have the thumb screw all the way in as you suggested. I have disconnected the vacuum invertor/collector for ease of photography.

 

Definition of NA

Most of you have probably heard before, but I still find this funny:

A very good friend of mine which is a NA and surveyor at one of the biggest classification societies around came up to me one day and said:

"Do you know the definition of a NA?"

???

"A guy that is not man enough to be an engineer and not gay enough to be an interior designer... "

Might be therefore a NA in Portugal is called a "Naval Engineer".

Have fun!

 

Vietnam Vets...

Hello...

Just finished a little boat for a 'NAM vet who ran Zippos up rivers...

Told him to run it up slow to check pressures...

He told me -'to go F'ck myself - I did not lose a leg in Vietnam to come home and have some punk tell me how to run up a new boat'...

I was confused - I replied - 'heh man sorry - but you have two legs'...

He comes back - 'Like I said -I did not lose a leg in Vietnam to come home and have some punk tell me how to run up a new boat'...

I left it...

SH.

 

and charge the arrogant **** double when he returns to get it fixed again.... He probably never went beyond the PX.... in base camp

Those that do not brag are the ones to thank quietly, the loud ones need a good **** kick....