Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Ahem....I like all of you guys, and I'm not saint at all, but...may we keep the bar a little bit higher?

 

The priest kept chickens, one day he lost his prize. The next Sunday at Church he asked for every ones attention and said has anyone got



DELETED

 

As Guillermo said could we keep the bar a little higher, get it out of the monsoon ditch at least!

Mind you there's more chance of the Pope joining the Orange Lodge than Frosty cleaning up his act!

 

I'm doing my best to keep em clean, now if you could lower the bar a shade it would open up a whole new catagory.

I wonder just how far the 'bar' needs to be lowered before you can contribute a tale or two. Or is it that you just cant remember them? I know it hard is'nt it?--remembering your name and address must be difficult enough.

 

But Frosty - I only have to think of your name and I collapse in convulsions of mirth! I find you that funny, why have other jokes?

 

Somebody posted not that long ago at the drivel thread:
"I bought a house in Thailand..., it was a lovely place then, but now we have human garbage. Attracted by the innocence of the poor Thais, round eyed perverts roam the streets.....searching out little boys to take home with them. I DONT LIKE IT."
May I suggest this as a departuring point to fix the level of the bar? Not to joke about perverts and boys (or girls)?
Cheers.

 

Boat jokes

Dammit - I'm beginning to sound like a one-man Guillermo fan club - but again I have to agree. Gentlemen, a little decorum if you please...

 

Totally agree Guillermo, sexist jokes in general can be bad but that sort of perversion is NO Laughing matter, exponents should be removed from the forum! Ok maybe after the second one along that line a warning should be issued but continuation should see removal or the forum may amongst other things become stained

 

Although I too agree, I had'nt thought about it that way. The thing is, a joke is total fiction and bears no reality to real life.

If I was to witness anything on those grounds I would be the first to call the appropriate authorities.

I take this opportunity to apologise if the JOKE I have told offended any one but I must ask the offended to remember it is a joke basically because of the irony content and not necessarily the stage upon which it is set.

There are 2 similar jokes posted here both of which contained the perversion that has offended. Both jokes were not funny because of the perversion but of the situation and the confusion in the English language that resulted in funny back fire.

It would also be true to say that this is the reason translation of jokes is just about impossible, other nationalities would not understand the joke or see it in the light it was meant.

I would also like to point out that it is a joke thread and is meant to contain 'Jokes'. To read them one must find and click onto it.

Those who have expressed dislike are those who have not posted any themselves but still read them.

A joke is not meant to be studied for content, examined and placed into a real life situation.

My wife used to do that, she would listen then say it was terrible and how cruel it was. ITS A JOKE. LISTEN LAUGH--MOVE ON.

 

I'm afraid I do not agree, Frosty. OK, let's bring your argument to it's own contradiction limits: if you're brave enough, go to your nearest mosque and tell them whatever joke about their Prophet. You'll easily bear out the reality of life...

Being this an international forum, in written english, that's precisely one of the reasons we have to be careful on what (and how) we joke about.


This has been thoroughly discussed already: we tend to forget about it (me the first) as we enjoy the driveling, but this place is not exactly our pub and not only our close mates are the ones listening.
Take care.

 

Guillermo whilst I sort of agree with you I wouldnt tell a joke to a Islamic member. They would'nt understand. That is my point really the attitude that I tell the joke with must be in alignment with the attitude of the listener.

I have edited my last post about 1 hour after the original posting.

You say this is not our pub and its not only our close mates listening?

So you are complaining for others and its not yourself that is offended?

So the joke would be funny if it were in the pub?

 

Well, I tell a kind of jokes to my mates and I tell another kind of jokes to my children, if you know what I mean.
And yes, I've felt offended by your joke and Poida's, if I'm allowed to say it.

 

I must side with Gillie here.
Jokes do not and should not be as such... involving little boys... or girls, perversion, incest or any such things.
PERIOD.

 

Posted by Guillermo
let's bring your argument to it's own contradiction limits: if you're brave enough, go to your nearest mosque and tell them whatever joke about their Prophet. You'll easily bear out the reality of life.

You're right Guillermo, you have highlighted the irrationality of people that can't accept a joke.

Poida

 

How about jokes about Australians?

An old Australian battler lies dying in his bed. He calls over Shirley, his faithful wife of 60 years, and says, "Shirl, when we started out, tried to buy a business in the depression, went bust: you were with me"
"Oh, yes, Bruce", she says.
Then the war started, I joined up, and was sent to the front line, where I lost me legs. You stayed with me."
"Oh yes, Bruce" she says.
"Then, came home, couldn't get a job, due to me disability, and bought a farm."
"Oh, yes, Bruce", she says.
"The farm flooded, then just when we got over that, there was a bush fire, and then the drought, which wiped us right out: you still stayed with me."
"Oh yes, Bruce,"
"Now here I am, in excruciating pain, about to die, useless and you're still with me."
"Yes Bruce."
"Shirl."
"Yes, Bruce?"
"You're bloody bad luck"


After their boat sinks, two Aussies are left floating around in their lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. All of a sudden one of them spots a funny looking bottle bobbing in the water and pulls it out. He sees something written on the bottle but can't quite read it so he gives it a bit of a rub.
SHAZAM.....out pops a genie!
"For releasing me from the bottle I will grant you one wish."
The guy glances at his mate, smiles and without further hesitation says, "I wish the whole ocean was beer!"
The genie claps his hands together and BOOM, there's a blinding light and the genie is gone. The guy quickly leans over the side of the boat and takes a big swig of "water".
"You're not gonna believe this mate, but it's really beer!"
His mate screws up his face and says "That's just bloody brilliant mate! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!!”

A Pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. - How long do you intend to stay?
POM - 1 week.
C.O. - What is the nature of this trip?
POM - Business.
C.O. - Do you have any past criminal convictions?

POM - I didn't think we still needed to!

Pericles