Dealing with pirates

Race???!!! Jack, the Aussies are just whinging Limey Pommy ******* convicts, remember? Get hold of yourself, man!! Now all a pirate has to do is toss an old number plate at you, and you'd give him your boat?

 

Charmc -- You must stop beating around the bush, what is it you are trying to say?

 

He's just jealous 'cos we Aussies are technically adept at handyman things and able to unscrew number plates and stuff. The ******* would need a committe, a debate, a town meeting, then they's all consult thier personal psychiatrists before doing it. lol.

Mychael

 

Mychael,

Not quite, mate. You're describing ******* of the "liberal" persuasion, and you've got them nailed perfectly. But there's still a few of us who know which end of a hammer or a screwdriver gets the job done, and who actually can solve problems without waiting on government to do it for us.

Jack,

You're sounding peevish again, glad to see you're feeling same as always. That "nice guy" Jack persona was no fun.

Charlie

 

I heard the other day that Ferrari was taking lessons from the black gangs of Florida. Ferrari is still struggling to get any improvement on the Pit stops and could not lower there wheel changing times.

The Black Gangs of Florida changed the wheels, painted it and sold it to Lotus in just 14 seconds.

 

Septic joke:

A guy was driving in a major American city when his car stalled. He got out and opened the hood (he'd open the bonnet if he was a Pom) to check the engine and battery. Another car pulled up, and a group of gang members got out with a jack and wrench and began to loosen the wheel lug nuts. When he yelled at them to stop, the leader said, "It's OK, man, you can take the battery, we only want the tires."

 

Good one Jack. This'll get me in trouble and only link to topic is reference to blacks.
Question - Why are so many world class fast runners black?
Answer - Evolution, all the slow ones used to get caught by men with nets.

Mychael

 

Would be nice if anybody can point back this thread to pirate story or the sea is that safe already?

 

Waiting for a pirate attack!!!!! Nothing going on round here. yep looks pretty safe to me. Just keeping the thread warm.

 

OK then, must be safe 'cos all the pirates are ashore pinching tires and batteries and things - you can only be in place at a time and who wants to go to sea in the monsoon season (well it must be - somewhere?) Good enough?

 

Naw-- not monsoon here yet another couple of months at least ,--I hope,--I have to haul out and anti foul shortly. Antifoul today is crap. ( Thats worth a thread)

Anyway the pirates must be catching fish then!!! Otherwise they would be looking over this side of the straits looking for an easy target.

If they had a prettier wife they wouldnt be out all night making a nuisence of them selves.

Hey --thats it-- More fish and prettier women.

 

thoughts

I'm black, and i Have to say that net joke was funny as hell.

anyways back to dealing with pirates.
Did I anyone ever think about getting a paint job designed to make your boat look bad. I was watching a discovery special on disney (go figure) anyways they made these jeeps on one of there wild animal tours look broken down as hell with just a paint job while the vehicles were in excellent shape. Just a good rust paint job.

I was thinking about putting some klaxon's around the ship. The extra loud kind that can deafen people.

I was thinking also that if you use some small pipes that go along the frame of your boat to the outside you can jet gases out of them by using some pepper spray and pressurized air ( divers should have a supply of that).
not sure how feasible it is

Also i figure you can work explosives into your defense if you want to.
using tannerite it is perfectly legal to have and use plus its safe as hell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tannerite

I may have to clarify this later since its probably jumbled

 

I wouldnt say that they were outragious suggestions,--there has been worse,--far worse.

Interestingly about the paint job.

The French hardly ever get any problems, thier boats are usually rust buckets, or alluminium un-painted,--looks as bad.

Decks covered in crap and old dinghy's maybe it a tactic,-- or just French.

When a boat comes in the marina ,unanounced because they wont use the radio, with crap all over the deck and a barking dog---its French.

Usually ther arrival is conveniently timed with the closure of the marina office. This has been carefully determined before hand.

They then try the approach of saying that they came in at 5 in the morning so they dont have to pay the night. Bloody French!!!!

 

At least we are not racists.

Well we've taken care of the Blacks, the French, the poor Ozzies although none of that was true, Cornish (although it's not a race we hate them anyway), Jack, well I'm not sure he's even in the race, we haven't tried to make the Americans look silly, 'cos there doing OK by themselves. I think there was a slight jab at the Muslims, we may get hit by a suicide poster.

But apart from that, no were not racists at all.

Poida

 

The only Russian jokes I know are about Lada cars. Which I might add I happen to own.
Q/ How do you increase the value of your Lada.
A/ Sell it with a full tank of petrol.
Q/ How do you make a Lada go fast.
A/ Push it off a high cliff.
Q/ Why do Lada's have rear window demisters.
A/ So your hands won't stick to the ice when your pushing them.

And my own question (without an answer). how can a country that makes Lada's also make a space station.

Mychael