Dealing with pirates

Mikey
Your helmet was probably stolen by somebody on holiday from London or New York.

 

Yeah from behind the brown wall no doubt! Never have that problem in UK, go where I want, when I want! Guess I'm either crazy or know the right people or both

 

Read some advice on an Australian website what to do if pirates board. Lock yourself bekow and leave a decoy on board like a wallet laying on board that has a small amount of local money so they take that and leave.

Thought to myself, good idea, I'd also leave my wife on board so they don't **** my daughter.

 

You probably go home at 7Pm have a bowl of soup and be in bed by 8.30 After watching Dads Army.

I dont think wandering around Looe is considered dangerous. They turn the traffic light off at 9pm.

 

Poida

Better leave a condom at the side of the wallet too!!!--Safer.

You dont want baby pirates running around.

 

"Thought to myself, good idea, I'd also leave my wife on board so they don't **** my daughter." Poida, certainly you jest.

But how about this? Many off shore boats are built with a crash chamber forward, water tight, and I assume air tight. a perfect place to hide (Locked off course) while you lure greedy pirates down below. While they are going through your stuff, and laughing at you for hiding in the closet, you unlock the valve to a small tank with poisonous gas that is dispensed into the cabin, killing all that are below. This would most definitely discourage any pirates that might be left alive up top, and if they insist on coming below, give them another blast.

 

Tom me jest? Never!

With your airtight compartment, couple of problems, how long will the air last that's in your compartment and secondly, how do you get from your airtight compartment through the poison gas and back onto the deck.

And how do you get rid of the poison gas that is in the cabin without ventilating it to atmosphere.

Maybe teargas would work.

One of the ways to deal with the problem of pirates has been seriously suggested that you lock yourself below deck.

I can imagine pirates jambing the hatch door and shooting a couple of holes in the hull and leaving you to slowly sink.

In fact teargas would be good, drive into the wind with a teargas container going off at the bow so not only do you cover your boat with tear gas it leaves a trail behind you that the pirates would have to contend with if they wanted to follow you.

I'll have to give my wife a gas mask if she's staying on deck.

Poida

 

Why teargas? eat beans, works better - does for me anyway

hey Jack what traffic lights? got non o' they in Looe must be thinking of somewhere else? Like London - full of wierd buggers there, mostly engineers, as in "last week I couldn't spell enginer this week I is one!"

 

Well what ever,-- Looe --Fowe both the same with funny cider sucking southerners running about saying oooorrrrr-oooooorrrrr.

Ill'e bet you go shopping with a tractor, with cow dung flying up off the rear wheels on my nice new windscreen. Why is it you people live in cow dung. Yeah ive been there --once.

Silly little roads that look just like the last silly little road. Not even wide enough for my car. You dont need a map just a compass--- just keep going North.

Hopefully you will find a sign saying Bristol M5- M6- Ahhh North and civilisation

 

Reasonable thought, Could be done pretty cheaply by modifying an aftermarket nitrous oxide system for a car. You've got a bottle, bottle valve, long delivery hose, and spray nozzles. Buy some extra nozzles, and junction blocks to have multiple outlets. Nitrous would surely scare them, and possibly incapacitate them. I'd rather kill them, but this could be an inexpensive DIY option.

 

Although once they're off the boat, they might decide just to sink or shoot you up for the heck of it, but at least they're not on the boat.

 

Nitrogen are used to air free vessels and collumns in oil and gas industries. I believed this is the best gas for anybody who would like to explore the potential of this method. Nitrogen is odourless and is not poisonous but it can push air out to the level there is 0 % oxygen in that particular system or confine space.

 

Just to keep the pirate thread alive and to exercise my ability in stupidity, what if the cabin was water tight and you had scuba kits fitted out ready to use.

As pirates approach you open a valve that floods ballast tanks in the hull and sinks your vessel. You breath with the scuba gear.

Goodness me says the pirates, they've sunk, thay then turn around and sod off.

After a period of time you turn the electric pumps that pumps the water out of the ballast tanks and your craft surfaces.

You take off as before. Pirateless.

Still leave my wife on deck though.

Poida

 

Pretty funny!

Supposing that you are in water a mile or so deep, I would assume that the pirates wouldn't be able to reach you.

 

He, He..You guys are to funny of course you know this is going to open up a whole new can of worms with the whole seaworthiness controversy; now we are going to have to consider implosion strength as well.

Now, for you folks who are more inclined to carry some form of weapons on board, here are a couple of links to test info on ballistics for home defense.
http://www.firearmstactical.com/briefs10.htm
http://www.firearmstactical.com/ammo_data/ammodata.htm
http://www.firearmstactical.com/briefs9.htm

If your really going to defend yourself with a weapon, it is a good idea to at least get educated.