Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Somewhere there are pictures of boats that fared far less well than the overpass.
     
  2. philSweet
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    philSweet Senior Member

    When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half?

    Assumption 1. The rebar was made in China for a US or Canadian based supplier.

    Assumption 2. The excavator arm was made in China for a Chinese manufacturer.

    Conclusion - probably not very fast.

    My first job was working on the Mississippi River at a place called Featherlite Concrete in Memphis. I was the rebar bender guy. I ran about 6 operations on up to seven tons of rebar each night. We had a couple roller tables, but that was all. Everything hand carried. Putting hooks on 10' stirups meant swinging 98 pounds of steel rod 23 feet long end to end over your head. I weighed 120 pounds at the time and I did this all night long. We poured a lot of precast bridge beams and parking garage decks there, but that's a Cast In Place (CIP) multicell boxbeam bridge. Those are designed for post tensioning. So it's not so much the rebar, but the post tension tendons that got snagged. You can see the tendons and how they flensed the rebar off of the bottom of the bridge for ten feet or more before breaking or pulling out of their terminations. Repairing post tensioned structures sucks. This one's a do-over. I wonder how the driver's insurance company is feeling about buying Canada a new bridge.

    Here's a nice little (389 page) pfd on CIP box beam bridge construction with lots of good pictures, for anyone interested. Rebar photos on page 14 and 15. Now image some kid working alone all night in a shed for $1.25 an hour fabbing all that. I cost the company more in leather gloves than in wages.

    https://www.fhwa.dot.gov/bridge/concrete/hif15016.pdf
     
  3. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Thanks for the technical info Phil, 120 lbs that's remarkable !

    About skilled work in China, there's now (apr. 15, 2019 article) opposition against 9-9-6-plus.

    (the schedule of standard working from 9 am to 9 pm, 6 days a week, which is without the overtime of often up to 20 hours a week, and also often without getting paid for the overtime, since they get a salary for their standard work already, and overtime is considered to be a standard element of their job)

    But then remember the gloves of the rebar bender guy, the animals got nothing for their skin, don't know how to pay for that . . !
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2019
  4. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    I've noticed at the yellow Hyundai excavator the truck got loose from the lowboy trailer in the event, so maybe the driver only noticed the loss when he saw the "breaking" news on his cell phone, that is if he realized this was about his cargo before sending the interesting news item to his colleagues and boss and posted it on facebook . . :eek:
     
  5. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    That would truly be getting hoisted by your own petard. :)
     
  6. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Agree on that . . :)

    And, petards or the like are not out of fashion these days, new years eve in Kampen and region, in the Netherlands...


    river IJssel at ± 0:17



    They use chunks of calcium carbide and add water to form acetylene gas, and ignite through a small hole.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
  7. Angélique
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    Location: Belgium ⇄ The Netherlands

    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Official warning signs are placed by the municipality some days ahead of new years eve, for the public and anyone who passes by to take care...

    [​IMG]

    It all happens in peace and harmony, it only sounds and looks a bit different, melkbus = milk churn.

    ‘‘ ! Pas op ! melkbus schieten ’’ = ‘‘ ! Beware ! milk churn shooting ’’

    Outside the city seems to be less fun, maybe these are only the preparations for industrialization of the process...



    Dutch Wikipedia: Carbidschieten

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
  8. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    Chutzpah in Chicago: an alderman who plead guilty to wire fraud is in the sentencing phase of the proceedings and his lawyer argued “Since sending the previous aldermen to jail has not done anything to curb Chicago’s tidal wave of aldermanic corruption cases, there is no reason to think that sending Mr. Cochran to jail will,”.

    I must admit that real chutzpah, when it show up, always manages to impress.

    Former Ald. Cochran’s plea: Prison hasn’t stopped corruption — so don’t lock me up https://chicago.suntimes.com/city-hall/2019/6/6/18655928/former-ald-willie-cochran-plea-probation-prison-corruption-federal-sentencing
     
  9. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    Eating has never stopped the pleading lawyer from getting hungry again, so the judge might as well ask him and his client to stop that habit, because it has proven not to be a definitive solution for nutritional needs. While locking up frauduleus aldermen in jail still has a little chance of definitive rehabilitation, and like the eating, as long as it's in there, it at least helps for a while.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2019
  10. Rurudyne
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    Location: North Texas

    Rurudyne Senior Member

  11. Rurudyne
    Joined: Mar 2014
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    Location: North Texas

    Rurudyne Senior Member

  12. Angélique
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    Angélique aka Angel (only by name)

    The other option is to add a shower to your bar . . .

    jungle bar and shower.jpg

     
  13. hoytedow
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

    Screenshot_2019-06-12-06-07-14.png I found this on the internet.
     
  14. Rurudyne
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    Rurudyne Senior Member

    A preacher came across a young boy in the church lobby intently studying a plaque of names.

    "What are you looking at?"

    "These names, who are they?"

    "This is a memorial to people from this congregation who have died in the service."

    The boy thought about that for a moment and then asked: "izzat the 8 or 10:30 service?"
     

  15. philSweet
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    Location: Beaufort, SC and H'ville, NC

    philSweet Senior Member

    Rurudyne, good job the doc didn't tell you to install a shower Caddy.

    (Caddy showers are a thing, apparently)
    [​IMG]
     
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