Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Two cows are wandering around a field. One turns to the other and says,
"So, what do you make of the fuss about mad cow disease then?".
The 2nd cow says "it doesn't really affect me mate, I'm a hovercraft".

 

A lot of cows are black and white, so I thought the disease is penguin related . . . .


- - click pic for source - -​

 

I guess that's what happens if you convert to a more eastern outlook.

 

Hmmm Fanie, you're east of Hoyt . . . .

 

By a lot! Haven't heard from you in a while, Fanie. I was beginning to think you fell into a warthog hole.

 

I ate a slug's cousin yesterday. Octopus. Grilled. Delicious.

 

You almost got it right.
Actually, it was the warthog that fell as it went through a hole in the fence.
We went hunting a while back and my friend's son shot a mother of a warthog, of around 75Kg's... Got skinned by a Boer, note the flag , and man, if you like snails you gotta love these critters...

Did you know that warthogs doesn't have to drink water... ? They can sustain their moisture through their food. Can be very aggressive, not called the poor man's leopard for nothing. The large upper tusk is not the problem, the lower one is grind razor sharp on the upper. The owner of the cute looking pig lost a few big dogs who got fresh with this oke.

 

Yes, it looks delicious.

 

No problem, Nibiru is going coming from the wrong side, it's going to hit Hoyte first

And it seems the next big joke is up on 23 Sept 2015 (google it) and http://beforeitsnews.com/economy/20...-media-has-been-strangely-silent-2752508.html

Maybe we can place bets on who's going to be hit the hardest this time round... ?

 

Who knows where Wormwood will hit? All we know is it will make a big mess with lots of casualties.

 

I second that.

Any special considerations when butchering?

Was talking to a Farmer friend from the US and they have a major issue with wild boar, but they hunt them for control rather than meat - there are some problem endemic diseases and mostly they don't find their way to the table, which somehow seems a waste.

 

I personally like these Wharthogs
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairchild_Republic_A-10_Thunderbolt_II

 

Says who? There are eradication programs in the National Parks where hunting by the public is not allowed, but there are a lot taken for meat. You need a permit, and they are not an easy target in the wild, but many are baited year round. These things can get big - upwards of 400 pounds, and are of an unpleasant disposition, especially in packs (called sounders).

from wiki -

For anyone wondering how we ended up with Siberian Wild Boar -

http://www.grahamcounty.net/hooperbald/hoopermcguire/hoopermcguire.htm

and how to get rid of them -

http://www.huntwildpig.com/state-specifics/north-carolina/

It's worth mentioning that other boar varieties arrived with the Spanish as early as the 15th century. So there is a lot of hybridization as you move further away from Western NC.

 

Men's Help Line



HELP LINE: " Hello my name is Bob how can I help you?"


Caller: " Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.

Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

 

It depends on how big a motor is mounted, right?

(great joke)