Bobby McFerrin may someday forgive me...

Don't Diet, Eat Ice Cream


By Rurudyne


Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't diet, eat ice cream
In every life we make our stand
When you diet your life is bland
Don't diet, eat ice cream

Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
(Don't diet, eat ice cream)

Ain't got no shorts that fit you butt
Kids laugh they taunt your tuckas bad
Don't diet, eat ice cream
Your life coach says you're gaining weight
He wants you to remunerate
Don't diet, eat ice cream
(Look at me I'm eating ice cream)

Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
Here I give you my phone number
When you diet call me, I'll eat ice cream for you
Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm


Ain't got no lap, ain't got no neck
Ain't got no girl but what the heck?
But don't diet, eat ice cream
'Cause when you diet
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't diet, eat ice cream
Don't diet, eat ice cream now

Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
Don't diet, eat ice cream
Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
Don't diet, eat ice cream
Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Don't diet)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Eat ice cream sweetie, be happy)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
(Put a smile on your face, don't bring everybody down)
Yum, yum yum yum yum-mm yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Rocky Road?)
Yum yum-mm yum yum yum-mm
(Sure! Pass the spoons!)
Yum yum-mm yum-mm
OMG is that mint?
I'm not dieting, I'm happy!
​

 

Beer and Ice Cream Diet

http://astro.berkeley.edu/~gmarcy/thermal/tpteacher/jokes/icecream.html

All the maths and physics are 100% correct.

 

Why do I think there is a flaw in those reckonings ?

 

Sadly a calorie is not a calorie (you may sometimes see a mention of Calories as e.g. 23.4 kCal) and its that little extra k meaning a thousand which stops the above working - an example

a snickers bar is 250 calories which is the amount of energy required to raise 6.75 grams of ice water (0 degrees celcius) to body temp (so about a quarter ounce).

Except that it is actually 250 kCal or 250,000 calories - i.e you'd have to drink 6.75 liters or 14.26 pints!

 

Yes, I guessed as much, sometimes the "kilo" gets dropped off, which does lead to some confusion.

 

That said eating a snickers and then having 15 pints of beer seems do-able,

Oh Wait, there's calories in the beer, damn

 

You could try the technique for making ice wine but go further and save the ice so produced for beer flavored snocones.

 

I guess if ice cream is more important to you than your health...eat away.

It seems to me a sad state of affairs when eating junk food is the only thing that you look forward to.

I recently lost 50 lbs over the last six months by cutting out as much carbohydrates (like ice cream) as possible (and eating lots of lean protein), I am now at my collage weight and do not miss eating junk food. I did miss enjoying outdoor activities, now I am again going hiking and ready to do skiing again this winter. I sleep better, consume much less food, and a number of health issues have gone away (like a pre-diabetic insulin resistance, leaky gut, low thyroid, and a number of other serious issues, now all gone).

It seems to me the choice is simple; eat ice cream a lot and live miserably and die an early miserable death, or eat it rarely a enjoy and long productive and healthy life. And when you are slim and healthy, attractive women come back into your life as well.

 

Unfortunately, this almost always leads to a loss of productive time that would be spent boat building, so beer is better.....

PDW

 

Counterpoint: enjoy what you're eating, have less stress, vs live long enough to really enjoy the VA style health care for all that's probably coming.

 

Besides, if there's one thing boats do well it's displace more water.