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#76
12-02-2009, 09:54 PM
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| Quote:
In order to properly respect tradition, visitors will be relieved of all their cash and valuables before they leave, so as not to be unduly weighed down when they hit the water. We aren't savages, after all.
__________________ "Boats are like rabbits; you can have one boat or many, but you can't stop at two" - A. Onassis Boat designs: "a convoluted collection of discontinuous compromise" - Par ". . . ere the end, some work of noble note, may yet be done . . ." -Tennyson Dances with Turkeys  |
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#78
12-03-2009, 09:50 AM
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| I thought I already had that as part of a purser's job. I have been working on a highly effective safety instruction course. The largest member of the crew throws the smallest one into the water. Listening to their plaintive cries as they are left far behind - assuming the vessel is actually making headway that is - he or she* essentially does my safety instruction course for me while I lounge in a drunken stupor in some safe and comfortable location. For an alternative method of obtaining volunteers for this important function, we could make up a set of rules for qualifying said volunteers. Pissing on the captain's meals, for example, would qualify a crew member; I am confident that this approach would lead to significant improvements to crew etiquette. As part of my training, I have placed myself on a suitable diet in preparation for this voyage of discovery. My weight is up by 25 lb and still rising. Anyone trying to toss me in the water is going to have a serious challenge, so I can assure you there is no danger to the most valuable member of the crew, or at least the richest, namely the purser - who will fill his pockets and hide from danger in the richest tradition of naval endeavour. * I assume from previous posts that this is an equal opportunity venture
__________________ "Boats are like rabbits; you can have one boat or many, but you can't stop at two" - A. Onassis Boat designs: "a convoluted collection of discontinuous compromise" - Par ". . . ere the end, some work of noble note, may yet be done . . ." -Tennyson Dances with Turkeys |
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#80
12-03-2009, 12:56 PM
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| Hm. How much do you weigh?
__________________ "Boats are like rabbits; you can have one boat or many, but you can't stop at two" - A. Onassis Boat designs: "a convoluted collection of discontinuous compromise" - Par ". . . ere the end, some work of noble note, may yet be done . . ." -Tennyson Dances with Turkeys |
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