The free boat Phenomenon

[dannytoro]

I was just curious if anyone had ever tried the "It's yours if you haul it away" method of procuring a boat. I have a place I sometimes drive by, an I always stop and view the derelicts for offer. Some seemingly odd. Some quite common, but with obvious major faults. Most seem to be fiber glass, although there are some wooden ones too. Quite a few fall between 16-26 feet it seems. Even one that looks as if someone had a pile of plywood, and couldn't decide between a landing craft or a freighter, having a rather curious looking bow. My number two son and I always talk about hauling one away. Has anyone done it before?

[PAR]

This is a lesson everyone needs to learn once. Drag one of these home, right away, the market is right for it. Select one that has obvious charm, resale value and isn't something only a mother could love, because this will only become a huge garden planter and you'll never sell it. The ultimate goal is to sell it. I know, after all this effort, you'll want to enjoy it and you should, for a while. Then get out from under the beast, because now you know what's wrong with it, what it still needs and maybe how bad it's going to be on you. This new found knowledge will help you with your next boat project, which possible would be a keeper.

So, the first thing you need to do it grab a framing hammer. Smack yourself in the forehead a few times, just to get a sense of what you'll be in for and then gather up all your disposable funds and toss them in the toilet, flush twice and get used to the idea of this event too. Welcome to the world of yacht restoration and repair. The worst part is you probably think I'm being coy now. Next year, you'll wonder why you seem to "learn hard".

You have forgotten to tell him NOT to flush the amount of money he will need for his divorce!

[dannytoro]

Oh! So that's how those Garden planters happen!

[Fanie]

grab a framing hammer. Smack yourself in the forehead a few times

I thought every one in the US have a gun ?? Shouldn't you shoot yourself in the foot rather

[PAR]

Fanie I would never suggest such a ridiculous thing as shooting yourself in the foot. This clearly doesn't have the affect I'm looking for. It should be effort, real work and swinging a heavy framing hammer is more in tune with the ass whipping he's looking to get into, not the instant gratification kind of thing, a gun shot wound brings to the table. You should be ashamed of yourself Fanie, just for bringing it up. Might I suggest, a quick shot in the temple with a ball peen to teach you some manners? A small ball peen will do . . .

[Fanie]

I'm watching these oooold movies currently, where their way of settling things was by hacking off body parts or by using brute force, those balls with spikes on a chain. What a blood thirsty bunch and they called it civilization back then already...

The effectiveness of a small ball peen hammer is directly in relationship with the thickness of the individual's skull. In some cases it would only irritate or lead to a bad mood rather than have one think again.

If you use the big ball peen hammer then you can shift the effect vs force scale up one click, although the outcome of any size ball peen hammer in a vacuum is going to be neglectable...

Resorting to THINKING as to DRINKING (difficult to distinguish), one could say, No Pain, No Pain as to No Pain No Gain


They said in this one movie a Gorilla is as strong as 10 men. Is this now 5 guys on each arm or is it 10 guys on one arm ?
I wonder who does all these measurements

[missinginaction]

A small ballpeen? Geez....your just killing me PAR!

Back on 10/18 you posted in the wooden boat forum on this same topic. In case some missed it this is one of my favorites from PAR:

Have you ever stepped on a shovel just right so it suddenly comes up and swats you crisply in the nuts? Have you ever done this repeatedly, even though you know it's going to hurt like hell? Have you ever stepped on a shovel, repeatedly slamming you balls, while stuffing 1,000 dollar bills in your worst friend's pocket with every swat?

Judging from your questions, you should just go out in the garage and get the shovel, so you can get your nuts "tuned up". Don't forget your check book.

If looking for a less physically painful method, just write several $500 checks to "cash" and hand them to people you've never met before, expecting nothing in return. After a few weeks of this, you'll have a fair idea of what you are in for.

This is surely the voice of experience....PAR, I hope you don't mind me quoting you.

Danny, you're right about the garden planters. We actually have a ferrocement "sailboat" that was abandoned some years ago down in the yard. It didn't look too bad from the outside but it was never going to see the water. Some of the guys decided to put a coat of Sherwin Williams on it and stick an old mast in there. They hauled it out of the yard and it's now a nice decoration that the public can see from the road in front of the clubhouse.

MIA

[PAR]

I've written about the joys of yacht ownership on many occasions. It's a shame there's no way to do more specific searches, for some of the more colorful ones, such as this one MIA found. Yes, my balls were hammered flat years ago, I'm basically numb to it now and no I don't mind you quoiting me.

[thudpucker]

I'll take the other side of that for objectiveness. I've dragged home at least four of those old derelicts.
I've forgotten a lot of the boats that I've owned.
Being poor all my life I've never owned a brand new boat. Or even a 10 year old boat.

Late in life I got a big Chris Craft wood boat.
Through some lucky circumstances I was able to take the Chainsaw to it before it killed me and my passengers.
The only reason I knew to do that was years and years of failures that I had to put out some expense and labor to fix. Knowledge don't come cheap!

I had my 22' Cedar homemade Cabin cruiser, converted to a big skiff, for years. What a job owning that boat was. But it was a great boat for a lot of good times.
23' Tolly, another great boat I sold before I had a chance to use it. It was sunk when I bought it. It turned out allright though.
I bought a really nice 24 Fiberglass with twins and never got it going satisfactorily. Too late in my life or I'd still be a Snow-bird with that boat waiting for me in AK.

If it were me, I'd ignore mi wife's ugly facial expressions, and select a Derelict you can make use of, make sure you have a place for it, comfortable to work, money for new "Chunks" and don't try to skimp by using non-marine hardware, and go for it.
I think my score is about 3 out of 7 or so, but I'm a lot older than you and the wood hulls were the killers.
Get a Glass boat and enjoy. You'll enjoy the trip and be ready for the next one before you sell the first one. It's addictive!

[Fanie]

Aye Missing,

A splendid quote. And here we all are thinking Par has a real set of balls

Yes, my balls were hammered flat years ago

He he... have to admit I've never seen (or heard of) any flat ones
Another first

I think if the forum had a hall of fame for classic posts then Par's comparasson's would surely make it

As for the stepping on a shovel, repeatedly slamming you balls, I can think of a whole bunch of guys that needs to do just that.



I saw an add in one of these junk mails delivered to us, couldn't help but think it has a place in this thread. It read something like -

'You get this service abosolutely free for the fee of Rxx per month.'

I was thinking I wouldn't want anything free from these *******s...

[frank smith]

The only free boat if one you dont own .Imo it is also the best boat , but I have had people try to con me into cleaning one for them . that said ther are some real nice boats out there for next to nothing . I saw an Oday 25 sold for a yard bill of $600. , and there was nothing that had to be done to it.

[Fanie]

Eh Par,

I found something on balls for you. Rename it to balls.mp3 and play it

400 years of experience for you there

[Paul No Boat]

Danny, I am not sure this is about boats as much as about salvage in general.

There probably are great freebies out there. but know why the boat was abandoned and why does it need moved. boat yards and farms etc are full of relics that will just sit there until nature takes its course or someone wants the land for something else.

On the other hand there are people who have gotten in trouble with zoning boards for having unfinished projects in their yards etc. I have seen heavy machinery (printing presses weighing 20 tons) given away as museum exhibits just for the donor to escape the moving costs.

We have all heard the song about finding the corvette in the barn that was advertised as a "used Chevy" but how often does this happen?

I live in a rural area where it is known that if you put a broken garden tractor out front with a "free" sign on it nobody will touch it. Put a sign on it saying "$100" and someone will steal it and you'll be rid of it. Then it's their problem.

spend a little money on a usable boat and research a little beforehand on the boat design history and parts availablity sometimes those freebies will break the bank before ever getting wet. Free boats like free advice sound worth exactly what you pay for them.

No charge for the above commentary. LOL

[PAR]

The bottom line is two fold. Generally, you get what you pay for and a boat is little more then a handy container for the engine, tanks, controls, electronics and trailer. If you start off with little to none of these things in your project, you'll just have to buy them. In other words, "free boat" - with the purchase of trailer, electronics, engine, etc. So, how deep are your pockets?