Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Last night when the rain started pouring here I said to the wife I swear Richard is posting on the jokes forum !

 

And Frosty has his image back and front - - What gives popeye?

 

Maybe Frosty has a split personality.

At least he is consistently inconsistent.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Frosty again.
and with lots of friends donating points and I am unable to reciprocate WTF? Jeff I need to give, please enable the giving of more positive rep to those who deserve such recognition?

 

Lets see if he opens another drivel thread? I feel the need to drivel but I need the resident expert as guidance...

 

Engineers...... Excellent, as was(were) rule(s) number 1.

 

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to apex1 again".

I get that alot.

 

Hard to bear Hoyt, but I´ll try to survive.

One about your Neighbours:

Two rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune!

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

more fishing:

An Englishman went to Spain on a fishing trip. He hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. Since the Englishman was learning Spanish, he asked the guide to speak to him in Spanish and to correct any mistakes of usage. They were hiking on a mountain trail when a very large, purple and blue fly crossed their path. The Englishmen pointed at the insect with his fishing rod, and said, "Mira el mosca!" The guide, sensing a teaching opportunity, replied, "No, senor, 'la mosca'... es feminina."

The Englishman looked at him, then back at the fly, and then said, "Good heavens... you must have incredibly good eyesight."

 

And a real "boat joke" I found:



and a both joke:

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."
The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"
The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"

 

Everything has an end, but why is a boat like a sausage?

 

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."

 

Both have two.


Jokes demand a different sort of language comprehension than straight texts: word play, punch lines and exaggerations often disguise the 'true' meaning. So, it´s no surprise that mainly the native English speakers are found posting here.
The common misbelief the Germans would have no humour is, well, you name it.

Belief

 

No kidding...

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/01/100119-great-****-color-sperm/

 

Men just don't stand a chance......

 

Men die before their wives because they want to...