Electric Fever

[brian eiland]

I originally posted this poem back in 2007 on the Maltese Falcon subject thread. I thought it was so apropose' .

I did not know the author of the poem, even though I had tried to find out. Tonight, out of the blue, I got this email,
You have posted a copy of my poem "Electric Fever," a parody of John Masefield's "Sea Fever." This poem first appeared in the Commodores Bulletin of the SSCA and has since been reproduced in many places. Your version has a few errors, so I have attached the correct version to this email. I have no objection to your posting it, but please provide its name and author's name too.

Thanks, Jerry Hickson
__________________________________________
..and with that introduction I give you his very funny poem again...

Electric Fever

I must go down to the seas again, in a modern high‑tech boat,
And all I ask is electric, for comfort while afloat,
And alternators, and solar panels, and generators going,
And deep cycle batteries with many amperes flowing.

I must go down to the seas again, to the autopilot's ways,
And all I ask is a GPS, and a radar, and displays,
And a cell phone, and a weatherfax, and a short wave radio,
And compact disks, computer games, and TV videos.

I must go down to the seas again, with a freezer full of steaks,
And all I ask is a microwave, and a blender for milkshakes,
And a watermaker, air‑conditioner, hot water in the sink,
And E‑mail and a VHF to see what my buddies think.

I must go down to the seas again, with power‑furling sails,
And chart displays of all the seas, and a bullhorn for loud hails,
And motors pulling anchor chains, and push‑button sheets,
And programs which take full control of tacking during beats.

I must go down to the seas again, and not leave friends behind,
And so they never get seasick we'll use the web on‑line,
And all I ask is an Internet with satellites over me,
And beaming all the data up, my friends sail virtually.

I must go down to the seas again, record the humpback whales,
Compute until I decipher their language and their tales,
And learn to sing in harmony, converse beneath the waves,
And befriend the gentle giants as my synthesizer plays.

I must go down to the seas again, with RAM in gigabytes,
And teraflops of processing for hobbies that I like,
And software suiting all my wants, seated at my console
And pushing on the buttons which give me complete control.

I must go down to the seas again, my concept seems quite sound,
But when I simulate this boat some problems I have found,
The cost is astronomical, repairs will never stop,
Instead of going sailing I'll be shackled to the dock.

I must go down to the seas again, how can I get away?
Must I be locked in low‑tech boats until my dying day?
Is there no cure for my complaint, no technologic fix?
Oh I fear electric fever is a habit I can't kick.

Jerry Hickson

...my website's introductory page features the poem 'Sea Fever', the Call of the Running Tide