My Impossible mission

D.I.M.
I'm new, I'm stupid (I suppose), but I gotta make a boat that operates only on natural energy, that can be used for commercial use.
Input please. Anything would be appreciated.

 

Not to sound like a jerk, but, maybe it should have a sail?

There are still some sailing ships opperating commercially; transporting wine for example (people say that the rocking motion helps the aging process?).

There is lots of talk about using kite-sails to supplement diesel freighters.

Maybe a hybrid sail/solar system will help you through the calm patches?

Go for it.

 

Petroleum is a natural substance. Gasoline and diesel fuel are some of the natural products that can be used as energy sources.

 

A simple raft will be carried by the tides, currents and is at the will of it's windage. Tying a bunch of ducks by the beak, to the stern and frightening them enough to paddle, is a form of propulsion you might want to look into. Flatulent cows, all standing in the same direction, may produce enough "emissions" to move you forward, though tiller steering wouldn't be my first choice. On the other hand, you could capture the cow "emissions" and use it as the heat source fuel for a "displacement" engine (Sterling) driving a prop. Maybe geese, lots of geese, duck taped to the deck and flapping like hell. It might not be very efficient, but it would be funny as hell to watch. Trained dolphins? This is way too easy, I could go on all night . . .

 

Does it have to make a profit ? Why do you 'gotta' have it?

 

Please do...the mental imagery is hilarious!

 

Isn't gravity pretty natural? Make a boat, drill a hole in the bottom and it'll travel for thousands of feet under its own potential energy, provided it's properly located. For that matter, you don't even have to make a boat. There are plenty of them around I could nominate as perfect candidates for this approach.
Here, I'll pick up PAR's baton...I see Nessie figuring in the equation somewhere. Now, all you gotta do is catch her. Remember in Jaws when the shark was pulling the boat around by the rope? Something like that.
I also have some preliminary sketches I did to harness bottled rainbow power, but I haven't quite figured out how to get the cork to stay in the bottle. If anybody wants copies of these drawings I can send them over by carrier pigeon, or one of PAR's geese if they're not too busy towing boats around.

 

You can't be a jerk...? I'mean, you only printed excactly my thoughts too...

Pls give an example of the commercially (wine) sailed ships, I'll be thinking of applying for a job.... Here is rain and cold....

PAR's ideas to duct tape some geese, seem a bit farfetched, but very interesting... Would like too see one, steering (?) into the harbour though....

 

Well, I'll assume that he's planning of some kind of horizontal travelling, not vertical..?

Heard of one who shaved, put on his best suit, ate a meal in the mess, (the others were a bit puzzled, but couldn't quite grasp what could happen next, wasn't his watch anyway), Then a stroll into the engine room, filled the pockets of this suit with some fistful of large nuts, went out/up on the deck, and jumped over the side.
Well, one other way to travel...

 

After considerable thought and being unable to sleep, I've come up with a few more. I'm thinking bubble power. As they burst, they exert a slight force and this is harnessable stuff. Maybe the farting cows can be brought back aboard as a substantial reserve supply when you run low on Alka Seltzer tablets.

Of course there's the more conventional kite propulsion, but I think this would be too slow, so drive down to the North/South Carolina border on I-95 and pickup some real power, bottle rockets from South of the Boarder. You'll probably want as many as they have, but you'd be cooking with gas on this puppy then and have a nice 4th of July thing going on all the time too.

On a more devious note, you could have Cubans or Haitians paddle the boat. Have a picture of the Miami skyline projected on a screen, suspended just in from of the boat. They'll paddle like fools just to get to it. In the same vain Mexicans can paddle good too, especially if there's a projection of the Rio Grand, the fence is down and no boarder guards in sight. Maybe some Iranians with a picture of a ICBM dangling out front. Old hippies can paddle really well too, just project a picture of a few floating bales of pot in front of the boat. Get them stoned first, they'll paddle at a slower but steady rate and whistle Disney tunes too.

Then of course there would be the squirrel cage. This is a tried and true power unit, that's been pushing small European cars for several generations now. Maybe the one out of the Hugo, which was cheap and would run on anything.

I think the best choice is democratic power. Have all election speeches conducted aboard the boat. With this much hot air, you might be able to float her across any ocean, if not the thrust of BS and other professional lying stuff will force the barge away from the direction in which they speak.

Now if you have access to a deity or two, maybe one could part the sea and the other deliver you unto the promised shore.

Next . . .

 

Let's be serious here;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjbtZ4NgtdA&hl=no

Can surely be adapted to suit a boat kind of thing too...

or was it this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4674WHJlg0&feature=player_embedded#

or....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh3oricATQY&hl=no

The last one there is actually rotating...

 

Okay let me answer all your replies in order...

1. I have considered a sail, more specifically a "turbosail" It reduced the fuel consumption of an explorer's journey by 1/3, and a solar sail isn't really viable, since it is rigid and won't catch the wind effectively, and if you make it too thin it poses a risk to damaging the solar power generation capabilities.

2.I want to avoid petroleum, since boats already use that, and make the shift to a gasless boat, my idea is Top Secret, sorry for the lack of trust but I'm a little scared about posting this type of thing on the internet, but the operation of the boat's power should be completely autonomous, and require little to no fuel.

3. To point out the many things wrong with this paragraph on a technical level (Not trying to be mean or offensive)
a.It needs to be used for commercial applications (fishing, private use, trawling, etc.)
b. Cows weigh more than their gas provides energy
c. I have geese phobia and will not use them as a power source its too scary, I'm kidding about the phobia, but I think the P.E.T.A will lynch me if I do.

4. I think a boat like that would have the commercial applicability of the Titanic after the iceberg, and yes travel will have to be on a relatively horizontal scale (considering the Earth is roundish), but your idea to use gravity presents an interesting idea which I have considered before hand not just for vessels, but more so on larger scale of a perpetual motion engine.
But this isnt the forum for that kind of thing.

5. After sleeping over it and finally checking this forum, I came to the conclusion no, Cows are definitely out.
1. they weigh more then their gas is useful, making it counter productive.
2. They physically stink and are large by nature
3. I'm scared of P.E.T.A.

 

Serious Level:
Could a trawler have a catamaran hull or is that impossible.

 

Its hard to comment when given so little information, but I'll tell you this: it's hard to come up with something more certain than sailing. It's been around for a long time.

For those interested: http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2008/feb/24/food.carbonemissions

This is an "interest" story that made if all over the 'net and into a lot of publications. Certainly is a romantic idea. It also goes to show how niche markets can be carved out for just about anything.

 

D.I.M.1. What you didn't know is that we are all undercover government agents looking for fools like you that post un-Amerincan anti-petroleum plans to de-estabilize the oil based economy. Your rejection of my suggestion of using gas and diesel oil as fuel gave you away. We'll be knocking at your door shortly.