Sponsor needed urgently

[Manie B]

I have started this thread so that we can have a giggle :D

tell us why you need a sponsor for your around the world voyage

everybody is doing it why not us

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/Just-between-the-girls---for-solo-circumnavigations/61396

OK so i will go first

firstly MY around the world voyage is to be the FIRST OLD FART to go around with NINE FEMALE CREW in a TINY 40 FOOTER ONLY (3 on deck in 3 shifts)

I am looking at sponsors like the bikini manufacturers and lingerie shops, as this is my idea i dont want you buggers to "steal" this potential sponsor

http://wickedweasel.com/en-za

My voyage is totally original and i am NOT doing it for the sake of sailing and or tree huggers that want to save the world. I am doing this for FAME and FORTUNE - television rights - my own reality show ala Osborns and then a record deal. I cant sing but that didn't stop Paris.

As my planning progresses i will keep you up to date

BUT WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS

please no BS we are looking for guys that are serious about MAKING MONEY :D

I have just won the Liverpool draw for 30 million POUNDS so if you cant get a sponsor i will just give the money to you BUT we need the best advertising agents

i have a vague idea at this stage of what crew i need but will finalise this after personal interviews ;) i am writing to potential candidates

Hey Heff if you are reading this drop me a line i cant divulge ALL my ideas in public yet but this is gonna be beeeeeeg (i can import cheap ****** from India)

SO YOU OLD FARTS

here is a taste of MY bright ideas :D

ok ok ok
next idea
a flottilla of old farts and we swap crew every 30 days

i am just waiting for the bank in nigeria to post last months winnings and THEN

ONE millions POUNDS for the winner of the best letter posted here
all the other losers get to wash bikinis for my crew :cool:

TGIF :D

[Manie B]

well i see that some words cant be printed

this word ******** is those tablets that Heff takes that makes him soooooo popular with the ladies

i think Lionel Richie sang
"All night long - all night long"

something to that effect :D

[gonzo]

I think the right sponsor for an endeavour of such scope and ambition can be no other than ******

[gonzo]

Apparently V-I-A-G-R-A can't be written in the forum

[masalai]

Manie, I am pirating your thread 'cause I will need some more money - - - I do not need heaps, just a lot as the FED is busy playing "money & market manipulation" and under a non-interfering expectation my bullion position should have realised in excess of Au$750K so I will settle for that small pile:D:D:D as the Nigerian connection did not work out (neither sent the other any money - greedy buggers) and the nestle' email was just a hoax, (heaves a big sigh - I did not send any info there either) and the lottery ticket I bought, (well I did not buy it, just got the blank form to enter my favourite numbers and the numbers did not come up), did not win anything, nor did I spend anything, nor did the one I found, but it had already been read and was in the waste basket at the news agent that sells the lottery tickets - - so unless gold hits Au$5000 an ounce next week, I will still have less than I would if I was given any of the money I requested... :D:D:D:D:D



I could not think of anything else supportive to say - - so I didn't... except, - - - to Gonzo, - - - It will happily accept fuck, so obviously natural behaviour is OK but augmented performance is not approved

[hoytedow]

Don't forget to take antibiotics.:D

[wardd]

i got an offer from tampex and depends to sponcer my trip

[Manie B]

Gonzo damn that was GOOOOD
sh1t at least we ahve a lateral thinker on board :D

and i dont know if you guys saw this but here is the next one

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/Abby-Sunderland---An-Imperiled-Dream/61529

already got $150k looking for another $200k
damn this is good business

farkit i have a better idea
gonna import / adopt something HOT from Russia or something like that, that cant speeeka da engleeeees and send her around while i man the reality show in holywood
i was thinking along these lines

:idea:

that will get REAL attention, no more cheap skate nonsence :P

[Manie B]

nice backstay arrangement

i just dont like the halfmoon shaped "bridge" that the helmsman has got to stand on, might break an ankle if the boat is hard into the wnd heeling at 30`

always remember safety first boys ;)

[masalai]

Ahhhh Manie, you just wanted an excuse to post your eyecandy, and very nice it is too... :D:D:D Why not just call the thread "Dream On" and be done with it...

[Manie B]

Jeeez you guys are a miserable lot of old farts

here you could have the opportunity to sponsor the first old south african for an around voyage with crew, and i will send you lots of pics, and nobody is interested.

She got it right

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/Sixteen-Year-Old-Abby-gets-her-Round-the-World-boat,-goes-for-sponsors/63133



hhmmmmm
makes me wonder
is this sponsor thing a good idea

:idea:



okay now i get it :D

the boats are worthless pieces of floating sh1t
costing the owners beeeeeg bucks to keep in marinas
with no buyers - people havent got money maybe for the next 10 years

so i tell you what - GIVE ME THE BOAT
i will take it of your hands FREE OF CHARGE
sail it around and then scuttle it in some deep water
form a new reef and help the environment

now you have done a good deed for the tree huggers
You still get the publicity AND saved beeeeeg bucks
AND YOU GET TO SPEND TIME WITH THE CREW
that i will charge at a nominal cost per day :P

gotta make some money for the flights back home




now not all at once please
and remember to send pics (of the boat stooopid)


ah farkit - friday is still faaaar away:o

coffee is too strong this morning - gotta go and eat my bran :D

thursdays is always a good day
wickedweasel posts their new contestants :D :D :D




:?:

[Manie B]

damn altzheimers

keep on forgetting things



flippen pics

:P

[masalai]

"Oh my God", - must be from USA - no nipples and the boob job slipped:?:

From Seans "love" (in his dreams) interest - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGJgyuAu6eo very musical rendition with just two words in the whole song....

To facilitate matters for the poseurs boats tied up at marinas get to know their possible needs - for a fee you will lease their boat, insure it and provide a certificate that the boat was lost and sank in mid ocean... Their benefits,
1) immediate vacancy at a marina berth for rent or sale...
2) owner can claim no the massive insurance for loss of a "valuable" asset...
3) All documentation is provided in advance...
4) satisfaction is guaranteed by PoSinc (Pirates of Somalia Incorporated) otherwise identified as "The Pirates of Penzance" (deceased)...

[Frosty]

hello.

I/we are looking for a sponsor to finance a trip through the tropical Islands of Barley, We are the West Lancashire over 60's nudist trampoline club.

We will of course use a catamaran and hope to trampoline our way around the East. It is hoped that 2 pensioners will nudist trampoline 24 hours per day , weather permitting.

Guiness book of records has raised eybrows at this and we are hoping for a record. Doris our oldest trampolenist is 80 next week and would like to trampoline naked with her mother entering the Harbour of Subic bay on Dec 25th 2010

We feel this would attract attention and enhance tourism.

Yours in anticipation, Lord Barthomlew Raving Flybridge.

[Frosty]

Mannie ,--Im very sorry to tell you that the girl in the low slung bikini next to father christmas is a bloke.

Yeah I know --they are good are'nt they. Blow it up and look closely.

Sorry but I see this sort of thing all the time. Look at the ears, and the hands are too big. Yup its a good one but---.

The hands are just not female, and the tits are far too perky. Don't worry, you will need my help when you get here.

It looks Thia also, leaning on a Thai boat, there is an Air Asia plane landing in the back ground.

I see this all the time.

[masalai]

Frosty, - - So do you know her/it/him?

[Frosty]

Do I know who? Jim? Sure-- he works down the road as a tyre fitter.

[masalai]

for light wheels like motor-scooters?

[Manie B]

damn look what you have done now

wasted hours of my precious time

i just had to sort thru all these files to double check

hour after hour of in depth investigation


http://wickedweasel.com/en-za/contributor_galleries/all/2008


gawd finally i found it


http://wickedweasel.com/en-za/contributor_galleries/1627


noooooo waaaaayy dude - its real


so while i was sweating it out here
i wuz finking all about dis dilema
must be a sure fire way to select crew






aaaahhhh
got it

visual inspection
no farking around dis time
ya wanna crew for me
i gotta be absolutely 100% farkin sure baby
show me your credentials
cant have some old fart in thailand finkin i'm gay
jeez i liked frankinfurter in rocky horror
but not THAT WAY
no no no


so THIS IS how it gets done from here on


gotta be sure gotta be sure gotta be sure
check and check and check again
gotta be sure gotta be sure




:P :P :P

[Manie B]

gawd the list is too long

eyes are hurting

gonna have ta stop now


sheeeet one more






one more







one more





damn

[Manie B]

O M G


gotta get back to work

see ya maaaaaach later


another HUGE LIST



NO NO NO




http://wickedweasel.com/en-za/contributor_galleries/all/2007



WTF

[masalai]

Manie, That is not how to tell, must have a closer physical inspection and check that there are 2 well you know and not 2 well you guessed it.... and no middle wicket:D:D:D

You naughty boy, What your mother say:?:

[Manie B]

Very confusing exercise this

problem is us Dutch French German English decendants here at the tip of africa have always been very isolated, we only got TV in the late 70's
so a very upright religious lot - the pale skins (mixed blood afrikaners)
so yes half stoopid and half ignorant - three quaters just dumb

so in line with the strange phenomena i wuz thinkin about women in thailand that are actually men - wierd hey dude

which leads me to the next question

they tell me that in the far east its sideways
no go figure that

Frosty please help, my testing procedures may fail

this is no good
this is no good
what to do
what to do

gawd and its only lunch time here
how am i going to get thru this dreadfully confusing day
how how how

;)

[Manie B]

bloomin hell

now i am the victim of blackmail

[hoytedow]

hello.

I/we are looking for a sponsor to finance a trip through the tropical Islands of Barley, We are the West Lancashire over 60's nudist trampoline club.

We will of course use a catamaran and hope to trampoline our way around the East. It is hoped that 2 pensioners will nudist trampoline 24 hours per day , weather permitting.

Guiness book of records has raised eybrows at this and we are hoping for a record. Doris our oldest trampolenist is 80 next week and would like to trampoline naked with her mother entering the Harbour of Subic bay on Dec 25th 2010

We feel this would attract attention and enhance tourism.

Yours in anticipation, Lord Barthomlew Raving Flybridge.
I hope Doris doesn't sport a nipple ring. She could put out an eye at the apex of her parabola.

[gonzo]

I looked at the photos of your crew. Quite impressive!! They'll bury you at sea with a smile on your lips.

[hoytedow]

Don't sign them on as crew if they can't ovulate. I think that means fry you eggs for breakfast.

[gonzo]

I think they somehow manage to synchronize ovulation and make your life a living hell

[hoytedow]

Sooooooo, you have to cook your own breakfast?

[hoytedow]

Manie, are you sure you want to do this, in light of Gonzo's revelation? Of course 5 bad days versus 23 good days when they are synchronized might not be too unbearable. And anyone who bitches during the 23 "good" days can always be offloaded/traded at the next port of call, eh?

[hoytedow]

Assuming they don't outright mutiny and you walk the plank.

[Manie B]

Sooooooo, you have to cook your own breakfast?

damn this is getting confusing

i thought 'Wanking" was the the capital of china

:confused:

synchronize ovulation and make your life a living hell

you mean all PMS at the same time
farkit what a horrible idea

[wardd]

i need a sponsor so i can afford paint to paint the sponsors logo on the boat

[Manie B]

well another fu3king week and still no sponsors

anyway i have decided to paint my boat yellow

which yellow should i choose ?

decisions - decisions


frosty i have checked - all seems ok - good to go
none of that thai thai machamacallit confucious thinghymabobs
proper YELLOW
up and down - vertical


TGIF
wine time

[Manie B]

so now i also know how it works
it goes like this

[Manie B]

anyway cheer up folks

dont fall thru yer arse

[Frosty]

Yup ok they are women. Pretty damn good ones as well.

Mannie you have caused me sleepless nights as it is,-- worrying about your factory getting robbed N stuff.

Now your heading for Thailand and you dont recognize gender ?---oh dear oh dear.

Listen, you can not tell by Adams apple, or all that other tourist advise shit.

You can not tell by taking them home and rogering them, the've had it all tucked and sewed in,----yes you can rodger them!!!!!!

I know I know its all too much but its true --they don't walk about with meat and two veg any more.

When you get blown ashore you must come and see me before you do anything or you will have sex with a man, and thats sick.

[Manie B]

When you get blown ashore you must come and see me

keep the beer cold

i obviously need lessons from the expert :D :D :D

[Manie B]

and Frosty wins the next round

http://www.news24.com/Content/World/News/1073/0631123dd4de4ff1b6b362952f1ed561/13-11-2009-06-09/Eunuchs_recognised_as_other

male - female - other

jeez its quite a thing in your neck of the woods hey
or rather other side of the pond
he he

only joking
now back to serious
gonna sniff sum epoxy - clears the sinuses

got this egg sorted on auto pilot
wine into the veins with an IV
60 days and im there

gotta see this sideways thing

:P :P :P

Frosty just tell them when i blow in there that i am just a bit dilly
and its not infectious

:P

tired of reading broadband and studying ais
gonna look for crew now :D

[Manie B]

mind you when i look at this
i'd rather go sideways
thank you sir

:idea:

much better idea you first
he he

[Manie B]

damn the noise in my head

:D

[masalai]

PAINT SELECTION .... From the "International yachtpaint.com colour card, two part polyurethane Gloss finish "Fighting Lady Yellow" - - - JUST FOR THE NAME:!::!: - - - For temperature control, all topsides should be, I am told WHITE, by people who can feel the difference on a previous light grey as making the insides cooler than before:?::?: (more psychological methinks, but never-the-less, I am going for white:D:D:D)

I had to read this page 3 times because I was being so distracted by the posts between the top and the bottom ;)

[apex1]

Do´nt paint a deck or superstructure white! That is a real nonsense. At least when you plan sailing from time to time.
The white deck will make you go nuts when you have starred at it for several hours.
Choose eggshell (the colour you bum), or a light cream instead.

[hoytedow]

White would result in something like snowblindness. Not good for the retinas in the long run.

[WestVanHan]

Manie-
I took a look at your website,well done.

But what is going on in the bow cabin?? Is that what I think it is???

[Frosty]

Do´nt paint a deck or superstructure white! That is a real nonsense. At least when you plan sailing from time to time.
The white deck will make you go nuts when you have starred at it for several hours.
Choose eggshell (the colour you bum), or a light cream instead.

Yet remains by far the most popular colour of small pleasure boats

[Manie B]

But what is going on in the bow cabin?? Is that what I think it is???

damn you got me good there
i did these drawings a year ago and haven't looked at them since

the idea was that its storage and to show perspective you can sit inside and stand thru the hatch

the intention was NEVER to show a guy getting a blowjob :D :D :D

[Manie B]

Mas and Fanie i am anwering your questions here

but THE REMOTE (HR22 Remote for TP22) FOR THE autopilot

....WTF get your priorities right

On his way to AU the poor man will have to get a bit of sleep man Mas, don't be like that

WestVanHan spotted the problem
i MUST be able to steer from inside, when i am taking stock in the forward cargo hold :D :D :D :D

[masalai]

Monica:!:

[Frosty]

Mannie --is that you on holiday?

What I dont understand is what is that yellow and black striped pole with ring at the end for.

I thought you had to go to court before you could be sentenced to castration.

[masalai]

He looks like one of those "naked apes" to be found in some discreet (private-semi-illegal?) zoos... Guantanimo Bay used to have one, as a sort of tourist attraction... - It was supposed to be closed but it is probably still open... - - - Ah Ohooo, someone yelled terrorist:!: - - - What:?: Where:?: Do I have to ..... Ooohhhh - - wrong spelling... Huh:?:

[Manie B]

Sorry sorry sorry

ya all got it wrong

look at the absolute FEAR on the middle cops face

it IS ME on holiday

just from the back

HERE IS A FULL (fool ?) FRONTAL

size gents size - it does matter

:P