Stupid Question-Really Stupid Answer

[timgoz]

Was watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire".

They asked what item of the following Charles Lindberg took with him on his Trans-Atlantic flight. He took only one.

1. Inflatable Raft

2. Radio

3. Lifevest

4. Parachute

I won't give the answer, use common sense & figure it out. I guessed it before they even gave the possibilities.

Tim

[safewalrus]

whos charlie lingberg? is he a bird? don't do birds only boats! - heres ten cents go 'phone somebody who gives a 5h1t!

[timgoz]

Bite me Walrus :D

Tim

[Frosty]

Well Im stumped --you got me--what did he take?

Walrus you ingnoramous and you saying you were a wine drinker.
Lindenberg was the man that put wine into a cardboard box.

He also made a stupid ballon that came from Germanyand blew up in America

Oh it was a right mess there were dead people on fire running all over the place.

Oh and his kid was kidnapped in america by a German imigrant, who said he didnt do it but you know what liars they are, So they sent him to the chair and fried his nuts.

I think that was him-- yeah .

[Roly]

OK I will play.
Starting from the end.Parachute....what is point,land softly & then drown.
Possibly wasn't in service yet.
LifeVest, limited point....crash...plane sinks...die of exposure or get eaten as there was
still big maneating fish in the sea then.Now Asians like the high mercury content of the
fins to increase their libido.
Radio....at that time portables probably wouldn't have had the range...and
who would be able to find you after the plane sank.
Liferaft....now there lies a smidgeon of hope.;)

Did I win a mil???????

[PI Design]

That would be my answer, for the same reasons (but I was too shy to go first). Can we split the mil?

[timgoz]

Winners!

Now all you have to do is cash the checks (approx. $5000) I send and mail me back the cash for tax purposes. :rolleyes:

Pretty simple logic. And oh yeah, Walrus my man, twas about a boat. You guys came to the same answer, the only that holds out any real hope for survival.

The contestant would not risk $200,000 so did not answer. Said if he would of he would choose Radio.

Not only did they probably not have the range (especially one light & small enough for this application) but imagine fumbling around with a first generation radio set while in an emergency.

Only if close to a populated coast or within sight of shipping might a radio be handy.

So if you survived the water landing / ditching, an inflatable "boat" would offer a chance. Wonder how hard it was to inflate. May have carried it that way if it was small enough & there was adequate interior / opening space.

Tim

[Bergalia]

I always liked the one asked in the UK 11-plus exam (on which kids' futures used to hinge...)
'Name three consecutive days of the week without using Monday, Wednesday or Friday...' :confused:

[timgoz]

Surely a clever Scot has the answer?

[Bergalia]

Surely a clever Scott has the answer?

Aye ma bonny lad - and I'll give you a wee clue tomorrow.....:)

[PI Design]

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day? There not really days of the week though, so I'm probably wrong, again.

[Bergalia]

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day? There not really days of the week though, so I'm probably wrong, again.

Sorry PI - they're days which occur regularly every week...Off to bed now - so I'll tell you tomorrow...:)

[westlawn5554X]

yesterday today and tommorrow... phew I think I am wrong...

[timgoz]

First, second and third day of the week?

Tim

PS. I like Westlawns answer also :)

[safewalrus]

Westlawn you swine you pinched my answer! T'was easy - and I failed my 11 plus too, passed the so called "late developers" and got to the Grammar school after all!

Failed the first time because I was in Yorkshire (where you get marked down if you are not a true blue tyke - but as most of those are 'rags' I'm glad I wasn't)

[westlawn5554X]

Swine sound like a fine wine on the fat side :D

[Roly]

Yup,PI, down the middle.......as long as you help me finish my boat.:D

Hey Rus, nothing wrong with gay ppl,especially if they are rich & are my clients.:p What were your parents thinking, sending you to a gay blue blood school?
BTW..who did your make over.......I'd pay them double!

[Bergalia]

yesterday today and tommorrow... phew I think I am wrong...

Excellent young westlawn...Top of the class. But can you imagine that hundreds of young Brits faced crass questions like that to decide their educational grades...
Well done again westlawn. Now open your books at page.....:)

[timgoz]

Berg/

I'm shuttin the hell up. last time I mentioned drinking I lost 6 points
Tim:)

[Poida]

How far can a monkey run into the jungle?

[Roly]

Lemme guess... unltil he/she can't see the trees for the forest or somethin like that. you kno like if a tree falls deep in the forest where there is no one, does it make a sound........?

[Frosty]

How long have you been down the pub roly.

Im going ---right now--G day

[Roly]

Yup ...how ya guess.
Finish hard yakka day weldin & placin steel beams
no dinner, no missus -workin too.
go to pub for acouple
come back to computor
talk rubbish......me anyway

have a good one jack

[timgoz]

Hey Jack,

Tims recovering from last night.

Berg,

There is something to be said for "logical thought".

Of course, if a semi-old dude like me does not get it right off. how can you expect some youngling to grasp it :cool:

Don't get eaten by a Great White my older friend.

Tim

[Bergalia]

How far can a monkey run into the jungle?


Jeff, Jeff sir...there's an idiot post cluttering this thread....:)

[Poida]

You tryin' to make a monkey outa me Bergs?

Do you know there's a monkey dangling his testicles in my drink?

[Bergalia]

Do you know there's a monkey dangling his testicles in my drink?

No Poida, but you hum it...and I'll try and play it.....:D

(good to give these golden oldies and airing now and again...)

[Frosty]

I know that one its to the same tune as

"Does your chewing gum loose it flavour on the bed post overnight". OR

Lonnie Donagan ( My old mans a dustman he lives in council flat)

Is this "idiots cluttering" or "Stupid question"

[timgoz]

Whats the difference?

Tim

[Frosty]

Oh thanks for that Tim I left out the word 'gum'

Cheers

[Bergalia]

Whats the difference? Tim

Ah, the eternal American thirst for knowledge.....:)

[Frosty]

berg its 2.40 ausy time arent you going to bed.

Ive just had my warm milk and i will be off in a minute or two. Ive got me jammies on.

[Bergalia]

Actually Jack - it's 12.45 over here on the Eastern side. But it's a sensible question. No - not bed for me. This is my 'Writing time". No disruptions. I get the girls ready for College - and TAFE (wife's already at work) then sleep from 10am to about midday. Do my 'housework' (wife still out sticking needles in old men's bums). Prepare a meal for the returning girls and wife. Sleep again until about seven. Chat to family - they go to bed about 10pm. I begin writing from midnight until 7am - then start the process all over again. (with breaks to annoy forum members of course.)
Anyway Jack old chum...off to bed now before your Horlicks gets cold. Talk to you later no doubt. Yours aye, Max (bergalia)

[Frosty]

So your a house wife by trade.

[Poida]

Chewing without the gum Jack, that would make you a cow.

"How far can a monkey run into the jungle?"

1/2 way because after that he's running out.

Poida

PS. Was supposed to form part of an intelligence test, no wonder you guys didn't get it.

[Bergalia]

So your a house wife by trade.

Wipes hands on pinafore. Flicks stray lock of flaxen gold hair from eyes, forget-me-not blue eyes, and through moistened, full ripe lips responds..."Get with it Jack...The 'politically correct term' is 'househusband..." :)

[Bergalia]

[QUOTE=Poida;142807]
"How far can a monkey run into the jungle?"...1/2 way because after that he's running out.]

Trouble is Poida - there's a dearth of monkeys and jungle down here in NSW...I think the same applies to the UK (since Labour took over) and USA - though I'm surprised Guillermo didn't answer - Gibralter is knee-deep in the little buggers....:)

[Poida]

Bergalia

Please pardon me for the liberty of asking.

Do you write for a paper, magazines or do you write novels?

Are you famous?

I've been down Angus and Robertson and asked for a novel by Bergalia. They said that was Enid Blyton's real name and she's dead.

And last question, do you live next door to Elvis?

Poida

[Frosty]

You wanna talk monkeys jees i saw a bloke throw his mobile phone et a **** load of monkeys yesterday --and I was sitting at the bar watching telly.

This male came along the rafters and sat down staring at us.

He was shooed away but before he went he raised his top lip and exposed his top teeth.

This means something in monkey language. I can speak monkey. I wonder if you know what it means.

[Bergalia]

Bergalia.Please pardon me for the liberty of asking.
Do you write for a paper, magazines or do you write novels? Are you famous? I've been down Angus and Robertson and asked for a novel by Bergalia. They said that was Enid Blyton's real name and she's dead.
And last question, do you live next door to Elvis?
Poida

Books, magazines, lavatory walls - you name it Poida - I'll write on it. Yes I am incredibly famous - every time I walk into my local pub the barman says "Christ - not you again...' And Angus and Robertson were incorrect - to quote that other famous Scots writer Mac McTwain: "Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated..." And finally yes both Elvis and Ed the Talking Horse are close neighbours. Plus Harold Holt came ashore the other day to look at a nearby property....:)

[timgoz]

Berg,

Funny how you said the other day about Kidman's mum living close to you.

Your buddy Mel Gibson just financed a church up the road 10 miles or so here in Pennsylvania. His father is involved with it somehow. It is some offshoot of Catholisism not recogonized by Rome.

Tim

[Frosty]

Hes a funny bloke is that Mel. Ide keep away from him if I was you.

He's gone all funny about his Churches and religious stuff.

Just look at his last movie APOCOLIPTIC whhooooaaa.

[Bergalia]

Berg,

Funny how you said the other day about Kidman's mum living close to you.
Tim

Just 'up' the coast a short way - a place called Rosedale. Of course it's just an excuse to get closer to me....My wardrobe(black stockings, suspender belts, etc) is the envy of the area....:)

[Poida]

Yeah I think that Mel's dad is a minister. So probably just bought his dad a new church.

Reminds of that pommy skit

"Now that your famous has it made any difference to your life."

"Oh yes, I just bought me moom and dad a little 'ouse."

"Bet they were pleased with that."

"No they 'ad a big 'ouse before."



Glad yer famous Beralia

I would like to write "Horror Skopes"

Gemini If youy have red hair and are wearing blue knickers today, you are going to die tomorrow.

Taurus If you have brown eyes and live at a house with number 23 your relationship may be ending soon. Your partner has just bought a large packet of Ratsak.

Anyway guys have a nice day and:

If you are a cancer, are reading this, and have a boat you have just wasted a valuable part of your life.

Poida

[Poida]

Now here's a question for legal beagles.

Can a man marry his widow's sister?

[Bergalia]

Now here's a question for legal beagles.
Can a man marry his widow's sister?

Nice one Poida. But unfortunately no. A case of the spirit being willing...but the flesh weak....:)

[westlawn5554X]

depend yur religon guys..... different culture and moral laws...

[Frosty]

Who cares what other people think. I hav'nt got time to worry about what other people think.

Ive had sex with my wifes sister and she want even dead.

[Bergalia]

.....Ive had sex with my wifes sister and she want even dead.

Perhaps not. But she told me she thought you were.....:)

[westlawn5554X]

Phew... I am more a conserved type of male... I would suggest if you want sex you can BIySEX :D

[Roly]

So Jack, you would consider it if she was dead?
I think you should visit Mels dads church. Cathocism not recognised by Rome... they should have a handle on that little fetish. Not that its a problem, is it? Having sex with the dead.I know there is a word for that.
Can't think what it is....obviously you aren't the first.......or there wouldn't be a word. Can't see the point of it , myself.

[westlawn5554X]

Necro......... you fill the rest of the word. Anyway it is a popular game in Japan pretending to be dead while others come and have their ways... you got to be alive to get the payment

[hansp77]

depend yur religon guys.....

Westlawn's got it, because if you are an old-man-Buddhist and have a really really young wife when you fall off your perch, you can be reincarnated in time to marry her yet to be born younger sister.:) That is if you don't get reincarnated as a cockroach for being a dirty old man:p .

[westlawn5554X]

Hans... there is always the National Sperm Bank at yur service... you should contribute big bang... I mean big time over there ... give you an empty glass and alot of new magazine with interesting articles.... if you only try... :D:D:D

[Bergalia]

Hans... there is always the National Sperm Bank at yur service...

Sounds like a Hans on job.....:D

[westlawn5554X]

Sounds like a Hans on job.....:D

That sound like the understatement of the year I guess...:D

[hansp77]

Woooh... trippy...
I just had a flashback to highschool:p :D

[timgoz]

Oh my, what have I started? :(

Tim

[hansp77]

Once you start them, you gotta ride em out to end Tim...
to the bitter end:D

[safewalrus]

Tim, pull yourself together man!

[Bergalia]

Tim, pull yourself together man!


Yes, get a grip of yourself Tim (or not - which ever is appropriate...):)

[lazeyjack]

Now here's a question for legal beagles.

Can a man marry his widow's sister?

yes , simple as that, but she may kark it too?

[lazeyjack]

God how did I deign to write in this lowly thread:P

[Bergalia]

God how did I deign to write in this lowly thread:P
Because you're a Queenslander ?????????

[lazeyjack]

Because you're a Queenslander ?????????
Quoinslund moite, doubt ut

[timgoz]

I'm the only one I can count on to get a grip on myself. :rolleyes:

Rough day today guys, time to sack out.

Take care.

Tim

[Frosty]

So Jack, you would consider it if she was dead?
I think you should visit Mels dads church. Cathocism not recognised by Rome... they should have a handle on that little fetish. Not that its a problem, is it? Having sex with the dead.I know there is a word for that.
Can't think what it is....obviously you aren't the first.......or there wouldn't be a word. Can't see the point of it , myself.


No I dont know what they call it iether but dead people are quite good at sex.

For instance they dont tell, they are more relaxed, dont talk much.

After living in England in the 70's and experiencing some pretty wooden characters, talk about "think of England".

I thought some of them were dead.

Oh and they dont tell you to stop because they have cramp.

RIGHT well thats me baned then. Points totally obliterated.

Probably the best thing for me,-- get on with some bloody maintenace.

I was going to change the lube oils todat but I worked out I have only done 7 hours since last change,--- seems more than that!!!!.

[Roly]

You have me convinced!You are so practical.
Banned,you should get a gong...
lay still....and "think of England"
Bloody priceless!!:D
I think westlawn is ********ting. I play dead every nite and I don't get jumped.
Obviously a Japanese thing.

[Frosty]

You have me convinced!You are so practical.
Banned,you should get a gong...
lay still....and "think of England"
Bloody priceless!!:D
I think westlawn is ********ting. I play dead every nite and I don't get jumped.
Obviously a Japanese thing.

Oh and I just thought ---They dont mind having the light on!!!


keep em coming.

[hansp77]

when your done after two minutes, and promptly fall asleep,
she'll still be there in the morning:)

[Bergalia]

It is with great pleasure, that as an exiled Scot, I can add to the destruction of the English reputation as lovers:

English couple making love when the male says: "Oh, I'm sorry darling...did I hurt you...?"

"No," she replies. "Why do you ask ?"

"Oh, it's just that I thought you moved....":D

[Small Wally]

Now here's a question for legal beagles.

Can a man marry his widow's sister?

Not in this life...

SW

[Frosty]

Oh ---and when your done you dont owe any money.

[Bergalia]

So who can tell me why the acronym W.A.S.P. (white anglo-saxon protestant) is a ridiculous expression:)

[safewalrus]

Nothing wrong with it, unless you come fra Barra o' course, in which case your none o' those! - now three verses of the 'Sash' if ye please to show the holy father reverence! (Remember Max you started this! now what was the question again?)

[Bergalia]

Genetically impossible old love. It's the white bit, Walrus. Never in history has there been a 'black' Anglo-Saxon....nor is there ever likely to be....:D

[westlawn5554X]

You have me convinced!You are so practical.
Banned,you should get a gong...
lay still....and "think of England"
Bloody priceless!!:D
I think westlawn is ********ting. I play dead every nite and I don't get jumped.
Obviously a Japanese thing.

look at irish grip and no comment

[Roly]

U trying to get me arrested WL?

[westlawn5554X]

Ha... LOL is that u? Wow... I was refering only to the irish T-shirt... no harm roly :D:D:D

[safewalrus]

Bergalia man theres been a few questionable ones!

hence 'Seperate Developement' as some would call it! the 'W' just reminds us what it's about!! (bit like the 'W' in Walrus!!!!! don't go there ....... jack will he's dumb enouff!

[Bergalia]

Bergalia man theres been a few questionable ones!

Of course Rus, old chum. We've been talking at cross purposes.
I was referring to the term White Anglo-Saxon Protestants....WASP...
while you had in mind:WASP - Walrus And Scattered Progeny.....:)

[timgoz]

I think I met a sloppy drunk at the bar that claimed Sir Walrus as daddy! :)

Just kidding, sort of.

Tim

PS. Love Ya Walrus.