Sponsor needed urgently

[Manie B]

I have started this thread so that we can have a giggle

tell us why you need a sponsor for your around the world voyage

everybody is doing it why not us

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/J...igations/61396

OK so i will go first

firstly MY around the world voyage is to be the FIRST OLD FART to go around with NINE FEMALE CREW in a TINY 40 FOOTER ONLY (3 on deck in 3 shifts)

I am looking at sponsors like the bikini manufacturers and lingerie shops, as this is my idea i dont want you buggers to "steal" this potential sponsor

http://wickedweasel.com/en-za

My voyage is totally original and i am NOT doing it for the sake of sailing and or tree huggers that want to save the world. I am doing this for FAME and FORTUNE - television rights - my own reality show ala Osborns and then a record deal. I cant sing but that didn't stop Paris.

As my planning progresses i will keep you up to date

BUT WHAT ARE YOUR IDEAS

please no BS we are looking for guys that are serious about MAKING MONEY

I have just won the Liverpool draw for 30 million POUNDS so if you cant get a sponsor i will just give the money to you BUT we need the best advertising agents

i have a vague idea at this stage of what crew i need but will finalise this after personal interviews i am writing to potential candidates

Hey Heff if you are reading this drop me a line i cant divulge ALL my ideas in public yet but this is gonna be beeeeeeg (i can import cheap ****** from India)

SO YOU OLD FARTS

here is a taste of MY bright ideas

ok ok ok
next idea
a flottilla of old farts and we swap crew every 30 days

i am just waiting for the bank in nigeria to post last months winnings and THEN

ONE millions POUNDS for the winner of the best letter posted here
all the other losers get to wash bikinis for my crew

TGIF

[Manie B]

well i see that some words cant be printed

this word ******** is those tablets that Heff takes that makes him soooooo popular with the ladies

i think Lionel Richie sang
"All night long - all night long"

something to that effect

[gonzo]

I think the right sponsor for an endeavour of such scope and ambition can be no other than ******

[gonzo]

Apparently V-I-A-G-R-A can't be written in the forum

[masalai]

Manie, I am pirating your thread 'cause I will need some more money - - - I do not need heaps, just a lot as the FED is busy playing "money & market manipulation" and under a non-interfering expectation my bullion position should have realised in excess of Au$750K so I will settle for that small pile as the Nigerian connection did not work out (neither sent the other any money - greedy buggers) and the nestle' email was just a hoax, (heaves a big sigh - I did not send any info there either) and the lottery ticket I bought, (well I did not buy it, just got the blank form to enter my favourite numbers and the numbers did not come up), did not win anything, nor did I spend anything, nor did the one I found, but it had already been read and was in the waste basket at the news agent that sells the lottery tickets - - so unless gold hits Au$5000 an ounce next week, I will still have less than I would if I was given any of the money I requested...



I could not think of anything else supportive to say - - so I didn't... except, - - - to Gonzo, - - - It will happily accept ****, so obviously natural behaviour is OK but augmented performance is not approved

[hoytedow]

Don't forget to take antibiotics.

[wardd]

i got an offer from tampex and depends to sponcer my trip

[Manie B]

Gonzo damn that was GOOOOD
**** at least we ahve a lateral thinker on board

and i dont know if you guys saw this but here is the next one

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/A...ed-Dream/61529

already got $150k looking for another $200k
damn this is good business

farkit i have a better idea
gonna import / adopt something HOT from Russia or something like that, that cant speeeka da engleeeees and send her around while i man the reality show in holywood
i was thinking along these lines



that will get REAL attention, no more cheap skate nonsence

[Manie B]

nice backstay arrangement

i just dont like the halfmoon shaped "bridge" that the helmsman has got to stand on, might break an ankle if the boat is hard into the wnd heeling at 30`

always remember safety first boys

[masalai]

Ahhhh Manie, you just wanted an excuse to post your eyecandy, and very nice it is too... Why not just call the thread "Dream On" and be done with it...

[Manie B]

Jeeez you guys are a miserable lot of old farts

here you could have the opportunity to sponsor the first old south african for an around voyage with crew, and i will send you lots of pics, and nobody is interested.

She got it right

http://www.sail-world.com/Cruising/S...sponsors/63133



hhmmmmm
makes me wonder
is this sponsor thing a good idea





okay now i get it

the boats are worthless pieces of floating ****
costing the owners beeeeeg bucks to keep in marinas
with no buyers - people havent got money maybe for the next 10 years

so i tell you what - GIVE ME THE BOAT
i will take it of your hands FREE OF CHARGE
sail it around and then scuttle it in some deep water
form a new reef and help the environment

now you have done a good deed for the tree huggers
You still get the publicity AND saved beeeeeg bucks
AND YOU GET TO SPEND TIME WITH THE CREW
that i will charge at a nominal cost per day

gotta make some money for the flights back home




now not all at once please
and remember to send pics (of the boat stooopid)


ah farkit - friday is still faaaar away

coffee is too strong this morning - gotta go and eat my bran

thursdays is always a good day
wickedweasel posts their new contestants

[Manie B]

damn altzheimers

keep on forgetting things



flippen pics

[masalai]

"Oh my God", - must be from USA - no nipples and the boob job slipped

From Seans "love" (in his dreams) interest - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGJgyuAu6eo very musical rendition with just two words in the whole song....

To facilitate matters for the poseurs boats tied up at marinas get to know their possible needs - for a fee you will lease their boat, insure it and provide a certificate that the boat was lost and sank in mid ocean... Their benefits,
1) immediate vacancy at a marina berth for rent or sale...
2) owner can claim no the massive insurance for loss of a "valuable" asset...
3) All documentation is provided in advance...
4) satisfaction is guaranteed by PoSinc (Pirates of Somalia Incorporated) otherwise identified as "The Pirates of Penzance" (deceased)...

[Frosty]

hello.

I/we are looking for a sponsor to finance a trip through the tropical Islands of Barley, We are the West Lancashire over 60's nudist trampoline club.

We will of course use a catamaran and hope to trampoline our way around the East. It is hoped that 2 pensioners will nudist trampoline 24 hours per day , weather permitting.

Guiness book of records has raised eybrows at this and we are hoping for a record. Doris our oldest trampolenist is 80 next week and would like to trampoline naked with her mother entering the Harbour of Subic bay on Dec 25th 2010

We feel this would attract attention and enhance tourism.

Yours in anticipation, Lord Barthomlew Raving Flybridge.

[Frosty]

Mannie ,--Im very sorry to tell you that the girl in the low slung bikini next to father christmas is a bloke.

Yeah I know --they are good are'nt they. Blow it up and look closely.

Sorry but I see this sort of thing all the time. Look at the ears, and the hands are too big. Yup its a good one but---.

The hands are just not female, and the tits are far too perky. Don't worry, you will need my help when you get here.

It looks Thia also, leaning on a Thai boat, there is an Air Asia plane landing in the back ground.

I see this all the time.