Sailing in Perth

[alyne]

Hi all

I am lucky enough to be going to Perth at the end of the month for a fortnight and was wondering if there are any people on this forum from Perth that could recommend a good place I could hire a sailing dinghy, or perhaps a good club where I may be able to do some crewing.

Thanks
Andy

[safewalrus]

January is no time to be arsing around Scotland - the rivers are full of ice and snow! The locals, bless 'em, know the score and stay in their mudhuts and igloos drinking their wierd variation of whyshkey, what they acn't spell properly, forgetting to put an honest 'e' in the spelling. European rules state that a REAL Whiskey must have an 'e' number in it somewhere (not unlike the other rubbish they put out)

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by alyne

Hi all

I am lucky enough to be going to Perth at the end of the month for a fortnight ...Andy

I take it you mean 'the other' Perth - in Western Australia ? If so 'End of the month' will find you in mid-summer. Hot as hell, and peak 'shark time'. But as for hiring...there are many establishments along the shore line. Stand by for more exact details from WA members.

[safewalrus]

Oh! that Perth!

[safewalrus]

best get over to Fremantle, Perth is up river - the Swan, they pumps it straight into can's and call it beer. No Fremantle is the place to be, as Bergalia said look for details from the WA guys! Ain't been there since '87 so I guess it's changed a bit (1987 Bergalia afore 'ee asks)

[safewalrus]

You noticed, I'm flattered! Not WI either (some of us don't need to wear a frock - thought I'd better get back to the 'slagging' this being nice to each other confuses the hell outa the rest of the guys!

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by safewalrus

You noticed, I'm flattered! Not WI either (some of us don't need to wear a frock - thought I'd better get back to the 'slagging' this being nice to each other confuses the hell outa the rest of the guys!

To avoid confusion - and to belay readers' growing belief that Safewalrus has finally fallen to the ultimate fate of those who persistently practise the 'Walrus'...I should explain that I posted an earlier comment 'Walrus is not a WA member...' But it arrived AFTER Walrus' latest remark, and was therefore obsolete... So I deleted it.
His remark about 'not needing to wear a frock' should be taken with caution. I have vague memories of Walrus poncing about in a dockside bar (my wife had dragged me down there) wearing nothing but fishnets and suspender belt. Believe me - if anyone should wear a frock - it is Walrus....

[alyne]

Peak Shark Time!!!!....ok you have my interest....I was under the impression shark attacks in WA were quite rare.

Anyone got any recent horror stories for me I should know about?

[Bergalia]

Sharks, Alyne, are a regular feature all around the Australian coastline, except of course where they have been wiped out by the salt-water crocodile, unless the 'saltie' has been wiped out by the sea-snake, or the sea-snake wiped out by the blue-ringed octopus, or the octopus wiped out by the blue-bottle jelly fish, or the rifts and tidal rips too strong for the jelly-fish....So it's best to stay ashore where the only dangers come from the red-back and funnel-web spider, the red-belly black, brown, and tiger snake, the bushmaster and taipan, the threat of dengi-fever from mosquitoes or paralysis from the ticks, or of course the sexually voracious Australian women....
But of course we here in Bergalia, on the Far South Coast of NSW suffer none of these irritants (although we do have some pretty awesome used-car salesmen) which is why our neighbouring town is called Eden.

Hey - Alyne. Come on down - it's a great country.

[alyne]

Well, that doesnt sound too bad, for a minute there you had me worried.
As a precaution though I think I'll take the following items:

• Penknife to fight off salties (just like Johnny Wisemiller did in the original Tarzan episodes
• Plasters (Band Aids) of various sizes in case of shark bite
• Anadin Extra for the pain in case I get bitten by anything snake or spider like

Saw a program last night on shark attacks. They showed footage of a surfer off south africa being attacked by two rather large looking sharks....perhaps I might take up knitting during my stay instead...

[safewalrus]

Or, you could head for NSW and be bored to death by an old frock wearing Scotsman who did some passing time in the Northern North Sea where only real men go, or as tis said " when the going gets tuff, the tuff f*%£* Off!
Why go all that far, get down to South East Cornwall were we really know how to bore! When we're not extracting the wee wee! (or having a 'walrus)

[seadogs20]

Mate if your looking for sharks, you have to go to South Australia, Big,Big,big Sharks there. But W.A has lots of places you can hire boats from and i agree Freo is the place to go ...check out the yacht club and put ya name up might, might get a trip out with one of the members. Oh and watch out for a couple of whites hangin about.

[safewalrus]

Would these 'whites' be of the non 'abo' varity and traditionally slightly the worse for wear? Relax big boy he's either back home telling tall stories in the local bars or some lucky little shark/croc had a nice dinner or worse; that well known WA painter chappie - Rolf Harris the famous, has cornered him and is telling him some REAL WA stories!

[seadogs20]

GREAT WHITE'S.....they are just off cottesloe, a guy was taken only a few years ago.

[safewalrus]

SOME austrailians are known for their sense of humour.....whereas others!........