Divorce...

[TeddyDiver]

Got to admit my mariage goes swell nowadays.. Missus have been 10000km away last 12 months.. and I'm not buying her a ticket back

[Boston]

hang in there Shawn
it will be over soon enough and it will be like a whole hew world opens up for you

interesting view Fanie
I approach the live in thing from the dead opposite angle
no ones leading anything and no ones in charge
I want a partner not a subordinate
not a snow balls chance Im getting married anytime soon and no way am I giving up my stuff in some bitter legal battle over who did what to who
my theory is leave the cage door open at all times
if that bird keeps flying back
my guess is its cause she preferred it that way

there seems to be some really odd things that happen once folks get married
first strange event is a weight problem
the girl generally gains about fifty pounds soon followed by the hubbies beer belly
seen it happen more often than not
both parties seem equally as guilty in this one

question I always want to ask is
how does a hundred bloody pounds sneak up on you
I get bent if I am five pounds overweight
but somehow these folks miss not being able to squeeze behind the steering wheel anymore
if there were a fat clause in the divorce laws I bet that trend would change fast

forget it
I'll just live with a girl who knows enough to keep on her toes
and keeps me on mine
cause that cage door thing works two ways

best of luck folks
I still say the leading cause of divorce is marriage

there is a big difference between being somewhere cause you have to and being somewhere cause you want to

[Sean Herron]

Originally Posted by alaskamokaiman

When they come they are wet and wild. When they go they take the house and the car.

Great bits - thanks...
SH.

[Knut Sand]

heh, been there done that.... A zillion years ago, in a galaxy fa....

Seen this advertisement? (poor quality):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4eV...eature=related

about having your cell phone in your pockets, not locking the keys....

[Fanie]

Eh Boston,
It has become way too easy for people to divorce, and people divorce for the most part for the wrong reasons like the tube of tooth paste. Never thought of getting a tube for each of us, concentrating on the fight and not the solution, for some reason most issues is like this, we stop to think. It is however a matter of mutual respect.

I get the impression when somone gets married it's like 'now it's final, I have arived and no matter how I act I'm set and comfy'. Marriage per se in reality is only a piece of paper, which is not worth the ink it's written in. Where it really counts is in the mind and the mind set about it. If you look after your 'partner' (supposed to be for life eh !) then it will go well.

I want to say again, the man of the house is supposed to be the leader. You want to wear the pants, you want to be the big shot when it comes to decisions... then you have to take the responsibility as well. To whom much is given, much will be expected - and this applies to all walks of life. If you cannot or will not take the bigger responsibility then give it to the wife - and a lot of men give this to the wife, nothing wrong with that, it is not a sign of weakness, only a matter of who handles certain things better and with better judgement.

You ever wondered why opposites attract - it's our way of compensating for our shortcomings. Not sure why after the marriage we want to change them or they us, before the marriage they were soooo perfect... Simple, before the marriage we concentrated on the mate, after the marriage we begin to concentrate on ourselves, and want our own ways...

Marriage is like building a boat, the thought and consideration you put into it globally and into the detail will determine how well it performs, how comfortable and reliable it is going to be, and how well it will serve you in the long run.

Unfortunately and sadly success is rated in your $'s worth, not in the success at home and in those values. Maybe for this reason the world is so ****** up.

[Boston]

I hope you will accept a respectful disagreement then Fanie
but that sounds very much like the basic Judo-Christianic set of ethics that's led so many people to so much solitude.
all people yearn for freedom from any form of subjugation whether its in a marriage or in the work place
Equals is what I prefer all the way and fundamentally its the only state of existance that seems to lead to true happiness
a partner and an Independent is a far cry from a subordinate with the privileges and responsibilities being shared mutually
and the rewards

I see it every once in a while but its rare
generally its those rare few marriages that work out

did you ever watch that movie "The African Queen"
great old movie you would probably enjoy if you have not already seen it
reason I mention it is that its about two people thrown together in dificult times who take mutual responsibility and both share the lead
had they not been acting like partners and both offered and accepted the others lead at times
they would never have made it

to each his own
but I still say marriage is the leading cause of divorce
that and the basic failure of exactly the system you seem to be describing as what works

[Fanie]

The Christianic set of ethics is sound, no matter how you argue them.

any form of subjugation whether its in a marriage...

Something wrong with the setup then. The act of getting married is only a promise to be true to one another, share a life together... you heard it before, although it seems some think it's only a license to get layed more easily Whether you are officially married or just living together, what exactly is the difference ? The expectations are exactly the same.

As for anything Africa, I live in this figgin place, I try and avoid anything 'African' or African themes as far as possible in an effort to maintain sanity.

but I still say marriage is the leading cause of divorce

It is not marriage that causes divorce it's people. What do you call it when two people are living together ? It's the same as marriage. You can still claim the same as if when you are / were married. If you are married and wants to seperate nothing say you have to divorce, just ignore the piece of paper and go live elsewhere, save a bunch.

Whether you are married or not, moving in together and making a life together is exactly the same. Someone mentioned keeping on your toes, maybe some does need a bit of a threat (whip) to keep them on the streight and narrow

Still, if you marry or not, living together is the same thing, the same is expected to make it successful. If it's that piece of paper they issue then refuse to take it, burn it, or something

[Boston]

might be best if we just agree to disagree the religious aspects Fanie

although I think Cathrine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart made a great pair in the movie
Ild once again highly recommend it
give it a chance
hey
they get married in the end


being a Native American and having minored in history your going to have a dam hard sell with the Judo-Christianic ethics line of reasoning

I'll just wish you the best and bale out on any discussion of religion that might stir up any unnecessary issues as it seems most people get all kinds of excited if you discuss there personal mythos

this is Shawn's thread after all
and it sounds like advice on marriage was not the initial intent but rather advice on surviving divorce

ps
if you want to discuss the history of religions or specifically the impact of the Judo-Christianic ethos in the new world it would probably be best to PM me rather than discuss it in the boating forum
Im always happy to discuss history and such but maybe just not here

cheers
B

[welder/fitter]

Sounds like you could use a few nights at "Chicago Tonight", Sean. Best of luck!
Mike

[Tug]

All women are crazy...
You just have to find the crazy you can live with...
Cheers
Tug

[Frosty]

[QUOTE=Fanie. Marriage per se in reality is only a piece of paper, which is not worth the ink it's written in. Where it really counts is in the mind and the mind set about it.

Exactly so why bother with it. The only people who are happy when some one marries is florists and lawers.

Marriage will become laughable in the future,,-no wait it already is.

It can work the other way fannie --once your married you dont care, you dont need to,-- she /he cant get away " I dont need to wash my hair or shave any more".

Being able to leave keeps it alive.

[masalai]

Sean, buy a dozen roses, a bottle of her favourite beer/wine/champagne, kiss & make up...

[Fanie]

Sean, buy a dozen roses, a bottle of her favourite beer/wine/champagne, kiss & make up...

And that's the easy and cheap way. The difficult part is keeping the pose up. She's going to watch your every move But once her trust in you has been restored... it gets easier every day. Patience.


Eh Boston, what's with the natives ? Is there any where except in parliament where they flourish and prosper Btw, you realize it is ONLY whites that are racisits...

Exactly so why bother with it.

It's a human institution. Same kind of thing that says when it gets dark you have to sleep, and when the sun comes up you must get up and go to work. The wife must buy groceries at month end, no other time. It took me months to get my old witch out of this one. So there are lots of things assumed to be a certain way. In reality it's what's between the ears and what's in the heart that counts.

It could be something to do with the guilt the churches lay on people, if there is something that pisses me off terribly then it is when someone tries to make me feel guilty about what and how I do things, like we don't have a brain to think for ourselves.

[Frosty]

"Love stinks" great movie.

[Sean Herron]

Hello...
All the butter gets split in two - all done...
Debt free - 60 odd grand collecting interest...
Truck paid for...
Job picking up on the Camno 41's and other...
Buy a Boler trailer - rent a tent in the yard - set up the #11 Forest Oak wood stove - buy a welder and a an old bankers chair - sit back back - and have a good think...

Aside from that - a good chuckle - a real conversation with real names just over lunch with a fantastic fiberglasser from Laos...
I qoute - 'Sou and Sok - his brother Loeng - very fast - you hire now'...
Ah - give me a minute...

SH.