BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[safewalrus]

PI looking at the time of that last post (and the fact I'm in Islington at the moment - which has got absolutely nothing to do with it!) guess your at work and just as bored as I am! good things these works computers!!

[PI Design]

Spot on. I HATE writing reports. Gone to fancy London? Are you in court? Or at the PM's leaving do?

[Poida]

I'll tell you this story as long as you don't take points off me. Promise?? OK.

Down on the reef all the female seaweed were swaying back and forth with the swell.

Some of the seaweed were old and as the swell went in and out their tatty fronds would wave one way then wave the other.

One of the old seaweed started putting sea anenomes on her fronds to make her look nicer.

Soon all the old seaweed followed, they all got sea ananomes and put them on their fronds and with their new artificial look thought they were quite beautiful.

Then they saw a nice young seaweed with beautifull fronds swaying back and forth, she looked so lovely.

One of the older seaweeds said, "Why don't you stick some sea anenomes on your fronds like we have?"

"Well," replied the young seaweed, "with fronds like mine, who needs anenomes."

Poida
PS. Something tells me I shouldn't have done this.

[PI Design]

Why did the crab blush?

Because the sea weed.

Hmmm, I think mine may have been even worse...

[charmc]

FA Cup = only way a UK team can win a championship.

[charmc]

Originally Posted by Poida

PS. Something tells me I shouldn't have done this.

Poida, your instincts are good. Should learn to follow them. If I hadn't given you points so recently, you'd be in trouble now.

[charmc]

Originally Posted by PI Design

Hmmm, I think mine may have been even worse...

PI,

You're right. See above message to Poida.

[safewalrus]

PI

Nar pretending to work! Got kinda fed up and headed back to Cornwall! Back up next week for another exciting time (and I thought it would be better than going to sea - at least the bed don't rock, 'cept when I'm so bored I get peed and then it do!!)

[timgoz]

What does a lonely single man who loves sex & fishing call his boat?

"Master Baiter"

Boo, Boo! I know.

Tim

[westlawn5554X]

Originally Posted by Poida

I'll tell you this story as long as you don't take points off me. Promise?? OK.

Down on the reef all the female seaweed were swaying back and forth with the swell.

Some of the seaweed were old and as the swell went in and out their tatty fronds would wave one way then wave the other.

One of the old seaweed started putting sea anenomes on her fronds to make her look nicer.

Soon all the old seaweed followed, they all got sea ananomes and put them on their fronds and with their new artificial look thought they were quite beautiful.

Then they saw a nice young seaweed with beautifull fronds swaying back and forth, she looked so lovely.

One of the older seaweeds said, "Why don't you stick some sea anenomes on your fronds like we have?"

"Well," replied the young seaweed, "with fronds like mine, who needs anenomes."

Poida
PS. Something tells me I shouldn't have done this.

I check my dic for the translation of words and this joke is crook... I like yur sense of humour

[Bergalia]

Just a thought - Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.

[charmc]

Originally Posted by timgoz

Boo, Boo! I know.

Tim

Tim, my friend, I'm disappointed in you . We're supposed to show those Aussie descendents of convicts what real class is about!

[timgoz]

Bad thing is I thought it up myself while a friend and I were trying to figure out what to call a co-workers new boat.

Tim

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by timgoz

Bad thing is I thought it up myself... Tim

Play on words Tim? Try this one:

Wife of an old Dutch barge skipper (that's the boat link) goes to feed her pet hamster and finds it dead in the cage. Naturally she is grief-stricken.
Seeing this her husband asks what the problem is, and after she explains he says "well don't waste it, make something useful out of it"

Obviously it's not big enough to make a full meal so she puts it in the food blender then pours it into a saucepoan, adds sugar, and boils until it thickens. Finally she puts it into a jar to cool, and when cool spreads some on a slice of toast. One bite and she knows it's disgusting. But being a thrifty wife and not given to waste she stores it in a large flower pot.
The next morning the husband asks how she disposed of her dead pet and she explains. So he looks out of the window and sees the flower pot is full of daffodils.

"Thats odd" he says. "I always thought you got tulips from hamster jam"

[timgoz]

Did you have a good trip, excluding the bad weather?

Tim