BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[lazeyjack]

yeppers Bergs gave the bloody thing to me

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by lazeyjack

yeppers Bergs gave the bloody thing to me

No, no Stu. The only answer he understands is: "No Frosty - but you hum it...and I'll play it...."

[lazeyjack]

Originally Posted by Bergalia

No, no Stu. The only answer he understands is: "No Frosty - but you hum it...and I'll play it...."

like the man who went into a bar with pet Octopus?

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by lazeyjack

like the man who went into a bar with pet Octopus?

Stop being silly Stu. Go to your room....Honestly how can you hum a pet octopus.....

[westlawn5554X]

Do u hav a spare octopus? nice in curry...

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by westlawn5554X

Do u hav a spare octopus? nice in curry...

Sorry Westie...but can you lend us six quid... (don't think about it too long or Lazey will come butting in....)

[lazeyjack]

Originally Posted by Bergalia

Sorry Westie...but can you lend us six quid... (don't think about it too long or Lazey will come butting in....)

sick squid da
man goes into bar
has octopus on his shoulder
says to barman thsi fish can play anything
gives him a sax, fish, mollusk plays it,
plays piano the lot
well barman comes out with bagpipes
so the octopus crawls all over,
YEAH!! SAYS barman, that's stumped him
Nahasays the owner, jus wait til he figures he cant ferk it(loss points here) he'll play em

[Bergalia]

Don't say I didn't warn you Westie.....

[J.D.Hogg]

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuck to his crotch. The bartender says "Hey friend, you know you've got a steering wheel stuck to your crotch?"

"Yarr," the pirate replied "It's drivin' me nuts."

[Bergalia]

One for the 'Pommies' (please translate for our US members)

A British Sailor (changed to give boatie touch), whilst on shore-patrol in Bosnia, happens upon a young lad kicking around a spent shell case with not inconsiderable skill. The two end up chatting and the soldier says, "Would you like to play soccer in England? A great friend of mine knows Alex Ferguson, the man in charge of the top England team. He could help you."
The boy appears very keen and so, when the soldier returns home, he asks his friend.
Well, it turns out that Alex Ferguson is interested and so the young lad is brought over. He starts off in the junior team, but is so good, he gets steadily promoted until he's on the substitute bench for the first team at the FA Cup Final. The game reaches half-time and the score is 2-2.
"Alright", says Ferguson, "let's see what you can do."
The lad goes on and scores three fantastic goals and the team have a glorious victory. Afterwards, the lad goes to a 'phone to call his Dad.
"Dad", he says, "we won the FA Cup final and I scored three goals!"
His Dad is silent for a moment and then replies "Don't you give me that! Back here, we're going through Hell! Your Mother went out for bread this morning and hasn't been seen since. Your Sister was raped last night, and your brother was beaten up in the street on his way back from school!"
"But Dad," complains the youth, "you can't blame me for that!"
"Well," said his father, "you made us come to Manchester!"

[westlawn5554X]

I know... to prevent the problem of that family, FA Cup Final should be held at Bosnia so Your Mother went out for bread this morning and hasn't been seen since. Your Sister was raped last night, and your brother was beaten up in the street on his way back from school! - would not happen. Thanks

[Poida]

2 all in the FA Cup Final

Normally they have to play for 3 days to score 1.

Poida

[PI Design]

Nah mate - you're thinking of cricket!

[safewalrus]

PI not with the team we have at the moment mate!

[PI Design]

Too true, looking forward to today's Test. I was thinking of the Aussie team of course!