BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[Frosty]

Berglia Ahh gocha, Your trying to scare me with accuracy.

Reginald Dixon is long dead and the mighty Wurlitzer still plays on but---the Winter gardens is not the Tower ball room.

If youve not been paraletic on a Sat night in Blackpool then your not a real scott.

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by jack frost

Berglia Ahh gocha, Your trying to scare me with accuracy....Reginald Dixon is long dead and the mighty Wurlitzer still plays on but---the Winter gardens is not the Tower ball room..

Oh....THAT Blackpool.....

[Frosty]

Ey its a lovely place is Blackpool you can get a bird right easy there.

Sand in between your toes, a mug of tea for the beach and a deck chair --all for sixpence.

I saw the bearded lady, and the Wild man from Borneo.

Sometimes you would meet people that talked so funny you couldnt understand what they were saying,---like "gi us a pint oh heavy" and 'ooorrr ile be havin a cider I will oooo rrr'

Sometime really wierd people from so far south like Corwall would come up to see the lights, they would stand amazed looking at the flashing lights,--on--off--on--off, they were amazed at it.

Ey its a good place Blackpool it made a man out me and a man out of the wife.

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by jack frost

Ey its a lovely place is Blackpool you can get a bird right easy there....I saw the bearded lady, and the Wild man from Borneo.
Ey its a good place Blackpool it made a man out me and a man out of the wife.

Let me guess...you married the bearded lady......

[safewalrus]

Well Jack it all comes home to me now why your such a numptie - if you come from Blackpool you ain't got much choice have you? Only place worse is Morecambe up the coast! And that's so dead even you would be a personality there!!

[Frosty]

Gotch walrus I knew you would have been to Blackpool to look at the flashing lights, and you know where Morecombe is too --well done .


Was it a geriatric coach tour you went on?

I could just imagine you on a donkey witha "kiss me quick" hat on.

Where do you go for your 2 week holidays now --Majorca.

[artemis]

Time to get backto basics here... and also to include the kayak/canoe crowd.

[Bergalia]

That has to be an all time classic Artemis...As that great Scots actor Clint McEastwood says - "You've made my day..."

[longliner45]

are you off your medication again ,bery?

[Bergalia]

Alright so it's not exactly a boat joke..but the driver had seen the DVD of 'The Caine Mutiny'.


He was delivering some monkeys to the local zoo, when his van broke down. he was standing at the side of the road wondering what to do when he saw a farmer approaching with an empty lorry. He flagged the farmer down and offered him $500 pounds to take the monkeys to the zoo. The farmer agreed and the monkeys were transferred to the farmer's lorry and off he went. A couple of hours later the man was still waiting for a breakdown vehicle to come when he saw the farmer coming back, still with the monkeys on board. He flagged the farmer down again and asked why he hadn't taken the monkeys to the zoo. "I did." said the farmer. "We had a great time and there is some money left over, so I'm taking them to see Disneyworld..."

[Frosty]

I worry about you sometimes Berg.

[Bergalia]

Here's one just for you then Frosty: Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

[Bergalia]

Originally Posted by westlawn5554X

... I dont know how to use one... it seem

Key in 'help' at: www.vatican.com

[lazeyjack]

Frosty was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Frosty Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it, but the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Helen Clark.the NZ pm

That evening, Frosty introduced Helen to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening; red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon,Frosty started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to Helen, cautiously and whispered in her ear ... "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

[Frosty]

Pssst --(whisper)--lazy--- do you know you have parrot on your shoulder.