Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

It all depends on how many coconuts were stolen by the crabs

 

No joke, the Dutch researcher Annabel Dorrestein set up a thermal imaging camera to study flying foxes, or bats, at night on Australia's Christmas Island.

But when she returned one morning to collect the camera, she discovered it had been stolen, almost certainly by the island’s famous robber crabs.

Dutch: NOS march 14, 2020

English: BBC march 13, 2020 - has a video, not of the theft, but of Annabel telling the story.

This was left, unplugged.....

 

Crab. A song. by my boys.

 

-Will (Dragonfly)

 

Rear Admiral Craig fell overboard and was rescued by Solly, a deckhand. The officer asked the sailor how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," replied the *bluejacket, "is to say nothing about it. If the other blokes knew I'd pulled you out, they'd throw me in."
Retold, as found from: Sailor Stories - Funny Jokes https://www.funny-jokes.com/sailor-stories.htm

-Will (Dragonfly)

 

Re post #6800 ~ 6801:

Not only crabs steal, yesterday at a lake in Berlin a wild boar sow and her piglets took a guys bag with his laptop, and apparently his clothes . .

Here's the story, and 3 covered up photos, to see them use the arrow buttons in the pics.

The wild boars have discovered that the bags of sunbathers and swimmers often contain food, so they take them to the woods and dig it out there, here's a short video (18 seconds) of another one at the Teufelssee*, Berlin... (* note the bathing code)



BTW, these are no jokes but real life in Germany . .

 

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit at the yacht club bar talking sailing after the Saturday beer can races.

Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's sailing in Heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's sailing in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits at the yacht club bar nursing a beer by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there sailing in Heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well, there is sailing in Heaven. They even have beer can racing, as well. "

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're crewing for me on Saturday.

-Will (Dragonfly)

 

Sol better not run, here's a Dutch poem by Pieter Nicolaas van Eyck . . .

— translation to English below the Dutch original —

— found here a translation —

 

April 1, 2014 - Yrvind invents the Safety Spork, which is also excellent for dieting . .

 

I've long said that I would want a spork themed silver service.

Sporks of various sizes from sugar sporks to serving sporks, knorks too (knife forks), as well as specialty pieces like soup spaners (spoon strainers to help serve Ramen) or shrimp torks (tong forks).

 

"also excellent for dieting"
But maybe not so good for alcoholics.


The safety spork may be why Sven is taking so long to get across the Atlantic. It's all coming together now.

-Will (Dragonfly)

 

Some tips for alcoholics from Belgian News Monkey in Dutch, but the pics might be self explanatory . . .

 

I love belgium beer.
Went to Belgium last year. Great people.

-Will (Dragonfly)

 

They say if you eat a little before going to the grocery store you don't buy as much ... that doesn't work with the liquor store though....

 

Another challenging riddle. How many can solve it without help?

Blue Eyes

There is an island with exactly 201 residents, 100 with blue eyes, 100 with brown eyes, and the island leader (who has green eyes). To leave the island, one must know their own eye color. There are no reflective surfaces on the island and no on can communicate with each other other than the leader to the residents. No one on the island knows how many of each eye color there is. Everyone on the island is a perfect logician, meaning that if there is a solution they'll find it. Every morning the leader gives anyone a chance to leave the island by guessing their own eye color.

One morning, the leader gathers all 200 residents to make an announcement; she says "at least one person on this island has blue eyes"

How many people leave the island and in how many days after the announcement?

Notes: this is known as one of the hardest riddles ever.
​

-Answer-