Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Discussion in 'All Things Boats & Boating' started by brian eiland, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    They started putting toothpaste in plastic tubes instead of lead ones about 40 yearas ago, so I guess we got lead-free gas and toothpaste about the same time.

    Now, when are they going to give us tubes that stay rolled up like the lead ones did?
     
  2. El_Guero

    El_Guero Previous Member

  3. srimes
    Joined: Sep 2008
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    Location: Oregon

    srimes Senior Member

    They've just released a new drug for lesbians with depression. It's called Tricoxigan.
     
  4. hoytedow
    Joined: Sep 2009
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    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

    Aspirin makes a good contraceptive. Just put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
     
  5. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    Frightening New Health Warning!

    When you drink vodka over ice it can give you kidney failure,
    When you drink rum over ice it can give you liver failure,
    When you drink whiskey over ice it can give you heart problems,
    When you drink gin over ice it can give you brain problems.

    Warn your friends, ice is bad for you!!!
     
  6. El_Guero

    El_Guero Previous Member

    My Russian friends know that - they drink their vodka straight ....
     
  7. hoytedow
    Joined: Sep 2009
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    Location: Control Group

    hoytedow Carbon Based Life Form

  8. JSL
    Joined: Nov 2012
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    Location: Delta BC

    JSL Senior Member

    stick with beer
     
  9. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    - but no ice!
     
  10. JSL
    Joined: Nov 2012
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    Location: Delta BC

    JSL Senior Member

    Anyone that puts ice in their beer deserves to die
    (nothing personal!)
     
  11. philSweet
    Joined: May 2008
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    Location: Beaufort, SC and H'ville, NC

    philSweet Senior Member

    Easy for you to say in BC! If you were to travel about 30 degrees south in latitude, you'd know how we do this.
     

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  12. ancient kayaker
    Joined: Aug 2006
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    Location: Alliston, Ontario, Canada

    ancient kayaker aka Terry Haines

    I was born in the UK and was, way back, perfectly comfortable with room temperature beer, so I've never been tempted to add ice. Now I will wait for you guys to pop off to the washroom to throw up.
     
  13. srimes
    Joined: Sep 2008
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    Location: Oregon

    srimes Senior Member

    A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.

    He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink.

    After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

    In a very deep, husky voice, The woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know a few things:

    1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
    2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
    3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
    4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
    5. The lady to your right is a blonde and a professional wrestler.


    Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

    The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
     
  14. Vulkyn
    Joined: Jun 2010
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    Location: Egypt

    Vulkyn Senior Member

    LOL :D now thats guts ....
     

  15. rwatson
    Joined: Aug 2007
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    Location: Tasmania,Australia

    rwatson Senior Member

    A friend in New York tells me his daughter attended her first cocktail party last week. He arrived a little late and found her sitting on a couch.
    “I’ve only had tee martoonis,” she told him, “so I’m not as drunk as thinkle peep I am. It’s just that I fool so feelish because the drunker I sit the longer I get.”
     
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