Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

'This message is not displayed because Frosty is on your ignore list.'

Happiness is seeing that notice come up on my screen....

 

Still knew I had posted and you rushed on in didnt ya!

Great signature by the way.

 

I'm not sure it's anything to do with anti-Euro sentiments, it's all about winning the next election by any means fair or foul.

However, the statistics on health costs are interesting indeed; Canadian health cost was missing from that list and averages around the 10% of GDP mark, similar to typical Euro numbers. It's noticeable that the more centrally integrated the health systems are the less they seem to cost in terms of GDP, one of the lowest is in the UK, and the most fractured and decentralized of all, that of the US, is almost double what appears to be the average figure for the rest of the industrialized World.

No doubt I will attract a slew of vituperative responses from some US members of the forum; I don't give a d@mn about US politics personally except as they impact on the rest of the World so at least I cannot be accused of being partisan. There's a lot about the US and Americans in general that I greatly admire, but also a lot of things I plain just don't understand.

From these numbers health care seems to be one aspect of human endeavour that benefits from a measure of government regulation and central organisation. It seems strange to me how a country like the US, that values materialism and practicality so highly, has this almost mystical concept of "freedom" that apparently embraces the freedom to starve to death, or to die of sickness and lack of care in old age, rather than toss some bucks into the community pot and share some of the country's wealth in a reasonable and efficient manner.

There appears to be a jibbering fear in the US of powerful centralised government organizations. This in a country that boasts the FBI, the CIA, the Patriot Act and the most extreme and personally-invasive anti-terrorism laws on the planet.

From this rant, it could be deduced that I am a raving socialist. Nothing could be further from the truth, as I am a committed conservative all my life, but I am prepared to waive my political beliefs in the face of the suffering of my fellow man.

 

As you are a conservative, and this is a joke thread, what do you think of
the proposal to privatize the police in the UK?

 

Then will they have a choice of service providers, and not be taxed? Will it be subscription fee based or pay as you go? Will they have an ala carte plan- I'd like protection from muggers and car thieves, but don't really need the other options. I'd like to drop the traffic cop option

At least the poor beat cops won't have any disillusions as to who they are really working for. I suppose insurance companies would field there own LEOs (edit, sorry Leo, LEO is Law Enforcement Officer). You'd buy a bundle of insurance and police; just like cable and wireless packages.

I have a small problem with some private citizens being given rights superior to others, but it's a bit of a moot objection these days.

I would think this idea would scare the hell out of the legislators. What good is the ability to make legislation if you can't control its enforcement. I guess that's precisely the argument the lobbyists are making to their clients.

Lets see, if you could write legislation, control enforcement, and sell insurance; that would be good, right? It's not like the police report has any bearing on insurance payouts

 

Perhaps they could swap? The Govt. takes over all the insurance businesses and the police get privatized?

You could write a decent alternate history novel around that premise.

 

The Blind Cashier:

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.


The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

He says, ?"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway......

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and
10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts.

At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00, and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

She paid it and left without saying a word.

 

Husband Daycare Center....

 

Is this some sort of joke- politics are hanging out in the humor thread?

 

ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION: the inability to become
aroused over any of the choices for President put
forth by either party in the 2012 election year...

 

Who's an electrician here..

 

Sshh . . .! It's obviously a private joke . . .

 

They did. It's called Robocop.

 

A child's prayer

 

Yowser