Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

That's just plain wrong. It's the most bigoted and un-PC thing I can remember reading lately. So why did I just snort bourbon and water out my nose laughing? Y'oughta warn people, before you throw something like that at 'em.

 

Just to be fair:

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
Because a sheep can hear a zipper from 50 yards.

My apologies to Scotsmen, from whose loins I sprang.

It was a (baaa, baaa) baaad joke.

 

Oh maybe New Zealanders should start wearing them :idea:

 

- let's be fair, there's a good reason why Scotsmen prefer sheep: have you seen the horns on their Angus cattle?

 

A Short Story for Engineers

You don’t have to be an engineer to appreciate this story.

A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time.

Small variations in the environment (which can’t be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket don’t get pissed off and buy another product instead.

Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.

The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution — on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using high-tech precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to re-start the line.

A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints and they were gaining market share. “That’s some money well spent!” – He says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.

It turns out; the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should’ve been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.

Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed. A few feet before the scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin.

“Oh, that,” says one of the workers “one of the guys put it there cause he was tired of walking over every time the bell rang"

 

Around Christmas time three men died and went to the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said when they arrived that since it was Christmas time, if they could show they had the Christmas Spirit, they would get into Heaven.

The first guy patted himself down, and produced a lighter. He lit it, and said, "this represents a candle."

St. Peter said, "that will do," and the first guy got in.

The second guy patted himself down, and produced his keys. He shook them and said, "these represent sleigh bells."

St. Peter said, "that will do," and the second guy got in.

Now the third guy had been petting himself down this whole time and couldn't find anything. He finally produced a pair of panties.

St. Peter was confused, and finally asked, "OK I give up. What do these represent?"

The third guy responded, "these are Carol's."

 

Excellent guys ! Can't give any one points though...

Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffffffffffffffffff ?

 

Where the heck were you ?????????????

 

Are you getting any error message Fanie?

Either you are hitting the daily limit or you need to give different people some reputation on different posts before you can give the same people reputation a second time. The idea was that imperfect as it is, it's a better representation if rep comes from a larger number of people rather than a lot of points from a smaller group of people.

 

Boat Design Net Moderator

That's not a joke. Please stay on topic lol!

 

Sorry Poida; too much work today to have a good joke left to add, but wanted to respond to Fanie's question where he asked it two posts above so if others saw the question there later they would also find the answer.

 

Hi Mod, thanks -

The PC screen turns blue and a message comes up saying windows encountered an unrecoverable error because I have to spread rep points before I can give to Bambi again...

Now we have a daily limit as well ! That means you can give points only bi-weakly ....
it's not even try-weakly as in post # 5661 point 7

We have FAQ ? One learns something new every day, even at my age.

 

To-do list for April 1st maybe...

 

Sure do !

 

Couple a more pictures