BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[gunship]

Originally Posted by cthippo

Was mostly the congressional dining halls IIRC. I think the White house tried to stay out of that one.

Good that the white house didn't. Funny anyways!

[troy2000]

Originally Posted by Leo Lazauskas

Chess players and other gamers might like "The Gossage-Varbedian Papers".
http://maxxwolf.tripod.com/woody.html

I'm a chess player, and I laughed nonstop through that. Apparently we have the same warped sense of humor, and that probably isn't good.....

[troy2000]

Originally Posted by gunship

Ah, yes that... Are the rumours about renaming "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries" in the white house true?

Unfortunately, that did happen. But it wasn't in the White House, which is the Executive Mansion where the President lives and conducts business. It was in the cafeterias and snack bars of the House of Representatives. And it was a unilateral move by a couple of weenie, die-hard Republican politicians, rather than any sort of sanctioned government policy.

On March 11, 2003, Representatives Robert W. Ney (R-Ohio) and Walter B. Jones, Jr. (R-North Carolina) declared that all references to French fries and French toast on the menus of the restaurants and snack bars run by the House of Representatives would be removed. House cafeterias were ordered to rename French fries to "freedom fries". This action was carried out without a congressional vote, under the authority of Ney's position as Chairman of the Committee on House Administration, which oversees restaurant operations for the chamber. The simultaneous renaming of French toast to "freedom toast" attracted less attention.

According to a statement released by Ney, this move was intended to express displeasure with France's "continued refusal to stand with their U.S. allies" (see Iraq disarmament crisis). The statement further read: "This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure many on Capitol Hill have with our so-called ally, France."

The Embassy of France in Washington, D.C. made no comment beyond pointing out that French fries come from Belgium.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries

In other words, it was more like the lunch lady at a school cafeteria getting orders from her supervisor to change her signs, even though it hadn't been approved by the school board or the school principal.

But that sort of irrational, idiotic symbolism over substance seems to have become endemic among Republicans and conservatives, and it's a major reason I'm a registered Democrat these days. I switched my party affiliation in 1988, when the senior George Bush started pushing for a flag-burning amendment to the Constitution; it was the final straw. I know it's been said by people on both sides so often that it's a cliche, but I honestly feel that I didn't leave the Republican party; it left me.

Oh... Bob Ney, the pompous, self-rightous jackass who was mostly responsible for the 'freedom fries' nonsense? He wound up resigning three years later, after pleading guilty to conspiracy and bribery charges in the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal, and was sentenced to 30 months in prison.

[Leo Lazauskas]

Originally Posted by troy2000

I'm a chess player, and I laughed nonstop through that. Apparently we have the same warped sense of humor, and that probably isn't good.....

I'm not a great fan of Woody Allen, but that short story resonates a bit with me.

I tried played in competitions when I was a young teenager. When one opponent got shirty that I wouldn't accept a draw he said something I couldn't hear, and the old Lithuanian who managed our team punched him to the floor. I prefer Australian Rules Football - it's safer.

Cheers,
Leo.

[troy2000]

Originally Posted by Leo Lazauskas

I'm not a great fan of Woody Allen, but that short story resonates a bit with me.

I tried played in competitions when I was a young teenager. When one opponent got shirty that I wouldn't accept a draw he said something I couldn't hear, and the old Lithuanian who managed our team punched him to the floor. I prefer Australian Rules Football - it's safer.

Cheers,
Leo.

My dad taught me to play when I was five years old, so he'd have someone to play with (not a whole lot of chess players in the middle of the desert). My assessment of my potential is that had I stuck to it, I could have worked my way up to a very respectable international rating.

But I never had what it takes to be a real champion; they're on a totally different plane.

I met an actual chess hustler, years ago. He hung out at Venice Beach, California, and according to a mutual friend he made a surprising amount of money playing chess. Of course he never played any tournaments, because he wanted to stay under the radar.

[Leo Lazauskas]

Originally Posted by troy2000

But I never had what it takes to be a real champion; they're on a totally different plane.

Me neither. It takes far too many hours a day to keep up with developments, or you have to have Asperger's.

I used to hustle billiards and snooker as a 15-17 year old. I learned how to play on a full-size snooker table when I was 9. When I left home at 15 and went on the road, it was a good way of earning enough to eat and get drunk. Pool on a quarter-sized table in hotels was particularly easy because it was like playing practice shots on a big table. Of course, being a long-hair meant I had the element of surprise too.

And what does any of this have to do with jokes? Quite some chess player, I 'spose. Is that the joke?

[Leo Lazauskas]

Originally Posted by mark775

And what does any of this have to do with jokes? Quite some chess player, I 'spose. Is that the joke?

No, we were just seeing who else plays chess and talking crap.
You're just "Bashing the bishop" again (which isn't a chess move).

[troy2000]

Originally Posted by mark775

And what does any of this have to do with jokes? Quite some chess player, I 'spose. Is that the joke?

Actually, you're the punch line. About time you got here....

Put a sock in it, Mark. Next time I get the urge to play Chutes and Ladders, I'll give you a call. Deal?

[peter radclyffe]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53hiHAkK6KA

[hoytedow]

Originally Posted by troy2000

I'm a chess player, and I laughed nonstop through that. Apparently we have the same warped sense of humor, and that probably isn't good.....

It definitely ain't!

[hoytedow]

Originally Posted by troy2000

Actually, you're the punch line. About time you got here....

Put a sock in it, Mark. Next time I get the urge to play Chutes and Ladders, I'll give you a call. Deal?

Tell jokes or go cook us some flemish fries. We know who the jokes are. Sometimes its me. Sometimes its you. Its always Obama.

[peter radclyffe]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7ZrBCY9ipI

One game of 3 minute chess. The loser never looks at this forum again. What do you say, Troy?

[troy2000]

Originally Posted by mark775

One game of 3 minute chess. The loser never looks at this forum again. What do you say, Troy?

I said I once met a chess hustler; I didn't say I was one. It would be idiotic of me to take you up on that, since I haven't played for years and have no idea what your skill level is.

And what would I do for amusement if you lost? I wouldn't have you around, carrying on about me and my rattlesnake brothers in the desert....