BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[hoytedow]

Originally Posted by SheetWise

Is that allowed?

It's all Greek to me.

[Vulkyn]

Originally Posted by SheetWise

Is that allowed?

Dont think so

[SheetWise]

Originally Posted by wardd

then it has to be good, hoyt is a whole hole after all

I would simply refer to him as complete.

I've never met him, but that's how he strikes me.

[wardd]

Originally Posted by SheetWise

Is that allowed?

only if we cant read it, it has to be written in Sanskrit on clay tablets

[hoytedow]

For many years a certain white whale and a tiny herring had been inseparable friends. Wherever the white whale roamed in search of food, the herring was sure to be swimming right along beside him. One fine spring day the herring turned up off the coast of Norway without his companion. Naturally all the other fish were curious, and an octopus finally asked the herring what happened to his whale friend.

"How should I know?" the herring replied. "Am I my blubber's kipper?"

[hoytedow]

Another boat joke:

Captain Kidd and his crew were on the high seas when they were attacked by Blackbeard, their arch enemy.

The first shot by Blackbeard's gunners took off Kidd's forward mast. The second shot splintered the center mast, and the third desintegrated the rear mast.

Panic stricken, one of Kidd's men asked what they should do.

"We have no choice but to surrender", replied the pirate, "He's using weapons of mast destruction!"

[SheetWise]

Originally Posted by hoytedow

"Am I my blubber's kipper?"

I see you're raising the stakes ... I may not be up to the challenge

[hoytedow]

Mercy Hospital in Chicago is run by a group of nuns who came from Australia. Through the years the years they have gone out of their way to maintain ties with their native land -- putting up a large map of the country in the recpetion area, and serving Australian tea from tins decorated with koala bears.

One night a patient calls a nun into his room and tells her how much he likes the hospital and the care. But he has one small complaint: he found some leaves in his tea.

"Oh," the nun says, "the koala tea of Mercy is not strained."

[hoytedow]

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

[hoytedow]

A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied. Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."

[hoytedow]

Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

[hoytedow]

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

[SheetWise]

Originally Posted by hoytedow

Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Surrender!

[hoytedow]

Never!

[SheetWise]

Originally Posted by hoytedow

Never!

OK. More specifically ... I surrender