BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[Hisflyingtune]

I wonder what Dr. Daniel Amen would say about this pathology? He, of course, is one of the foremost authorities on brain health. He would surely attribute some of this malady to the solvents and their long-term effects on RBO much as builders of home built aircraft suffer.

[hoytedow]

Welcome, stefenlara.

[hoytedow]

Hisflyingtune, welcome to the forum as well.

[sonofasailor12]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-QNAwUdHUQ

I'm sure this has been posted multiple times, but I laugh every time I watch it.

"The front fell off!"

[Fanie]

Saudi Prince goes to Germany to study.

A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us! Go and get yourself a train too!"

[Redtick]

We need more jokes.


A priest had delayed his decision to attend a yearly bible seminar because it was being held in LasVegas. At the last moment he decided to make his booking, only to find that all the rooms were filled at the hotel were it was to be held. As a heavy weight championship boxing match was occurring, he found he was only able to book a room in a motel he knew nothing about. To his horror when he arrived, plastered across the marquee was the statement of free p0rn in every room. With no other choice he went to the desk to check in. When the shapely blond behind the counter was returning his credit card to him, he spoke “Young lady, would be sure to make sure the p0rn channel in my room is disabled” She looked him up and down for a minute then spoke “We only have regular p0rn you sick twist”.

[Landlubber]

...nice one there Mark, well said.

[Landlubber]

....actually I would be happy to destroy all my guns, on the condition that no one is harmed by any individual ever again.......so pigs might fly eh.

DO NOT rely on any government or police force to protect you.....if you don't do it yourself, it will not be done.

[hoytedow]

Originally Posted by mark775

Attachment 41571

VERY GOOD

[ancient kayaker]

My gun-toting beer-swilling, wife-abusing neighbour moved several years back. Then another one replaced him! That one moved last year and we all feel a lot safer now. Being part of the problem does not solve the problem. Some non-gun owning people get shot, but most of the people who are shot own guns themselves.

You are absolutely correct in that most of the people hurt by guns have guns themselves - gang related/criminal related stuff.
Now, to associate gun ownership with beer swilling ( I swill a few and own at least thirty guns and thirty lower receivers) and wife abusing is another thing. I actually find, like Freud, that people with a fear of guns to be the ones who need help. Hoplophobia is the term for it, characterized by self-evident irrational responses to real-life situations, and is frequently seen in the news media and public debate. When a criminal commits a crime using a gun, hoplophobes often say things like "Being part of the problem does not solve the problem" and seek to disarm, or make lists of, innocent people who didn't do anything - a common, classic and irrational response. There does seem to be many more of these poor souls in congested areas - cannot imagine anyone growing up in a conventional, healthy country life being afraid of a gun or attributing fallacious generalizations to a gun owner. Why kids that grew up not knowing what grass smells like desire to debase freedom, as manifested by gun ownership, is a question only a professional could answer but we do run into more of this as another symptom of the times erupts - urban sprawl.
I have a solution; city dwellers build taller, denser apartment complexes and ride the Metro to coffee shops/progressive worker rallies, latest art opening,

(14,000 tampon chandelier, Belem Cultural Center)
and the backbone of civilization, the people who grow and build things, stay out of the cities. Problem solved!
Back to jokes? Put a gun joke up, maybe, if it makes you feel better...

[Fanie]

Do you think those women looking at that shandelier feel emotional about it

Mark, the day they tell you you cannot have a fire arm is the day they tell you you do not have the right to defend yourself.

[ancient kayaker]

Mark: I associated gun-toting, beer-swilling and wife-abusing with my neighbours. We were happy to see them go on all 3 counts. It was a bad combination. I am not afraid of guns, just the people who seem to need them. I am unable to distinguish between your right to defend yourself with a gun and your ability to attack me with a gun. A gun is a weapon, not a wall decoration, fetish or prayer object. There's only one use for it. I live in a low-crime, low-violence area and want to keep it that way.

The guy who posted the sign pointing out his neighbour's lack of guns and boasting of his (or hers) is just asking to be burgled: and when it happens there will be more illegal weapons on the street. I believe there is a strong relationship between the number of guns in a neighbourhood, and the number of guns in a neighbourhood. Guns have a tendency to progress down the food chain.

I will shoot anyone who denies me the right to my beliefs. Would you trust me with a gun?

[dskira]

Not loaded and mine loaded, yes