Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

Your facts are mixed up !! Mummies never refuse sex .... heck if anything ... they are over active ...
----------------------------

We have reached the pinnacle of technological advancement and now it seems the only area that needs to reach the rest of the technology trends is the door knob ....

"I-Knob coming soon, the latest innovation to monitor, screen and electrocute unwanted guests. Worried about your daughter having unwanted guests, just tell the I-Knob your prefrences and it will do the rest.
Sales reps disturbing at night? Unwanted guests at awkward times? The solution is simple ... I-Knob...
(Batteries not included)"

 

If only. Wishfull thinking. The pie (pun) in the sky. The pot of gold under the rainbow (yip, spreaded ). Easter eggs hatching (oh ****, no the earth is full enough).



Eh Hoyt,

Your road kill arrived today and philamon did not steal it It arrived in the nick of time too, the biltong is up.

Bloody hell conditions in the US must be really tough lately considering these small packets eh.

And bloody hell again, what is it... dead cow, bear chips, koyote nuggets... ? Or is it a surprise

Oh oh I see it's Jack Link's premium cuts. He, I wonder how much is left of him

Thanks bud, will think of you when I graze it up. May test on the wife first to see if she survives tho

Just kiddin. She's getting NOTHING

It's all just MINE !

 

Enjoy!

Things are really tough here, including road kill. The bloody postman took more than the grocer.

 

I very much doubt she will get a hardon. And any sign on my part she's just going to dunk some staysoft in my bath water.

Yep, but then someone did make the swim eh.

Thanks again. Will let you know when we're out again

 

I don't get it .... :S must be a cultural barrier or something (or an epic Fanie fail ... not sure though )

 

How to make a woman happy

t's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little
yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about
where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes


HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring Beer

 

Carefull there Vulture I mean Velcro I mean Vulkyn, we might get the impression you're not getting it

TRY SAYING: I don't get it.
INSTEAD OF: WTF

 

ok then WTF .. :S

 

Do you guys have a similar product to biltong or jerky in Egypt ?

Biltong is raw dried meat and jerkey is cooked dried meat, but both are dead.
We don't have power in SA so we don't cook ours

You don't have to send me some, I'm just curious

 

Mmmm... The Nile is at the top of Africa so the water runs in there, and into Africa. I wonder where it comes out again.

 

Fanie, jerky is also raw dried meat--not cooked. If it's made in an oven, the heat should stay low enough to dry it without cooking it.

The main differences are that vinegar isn't used in the marinade, and the meat is cut into much thinner strips than biltong is.

 

Around here...Jerky is raw dried meat, sometimes smoke dried so I suppose that might be considered somewhat cooked. Marinating it prior to drying or dehydrating makes for some tasty treats.

 

Oh I see. So this one packet Hoyt sent me is stew then
It says 'slow cooked'.

I must say I like the way the jerky is packaged. It's sealed, and you can still seal it after it was opened. Looks like it would last quite a while too in it's sealed state, the package says 'since 1885'. That's good for any meat product

I can imagine if you're going on a boat trip this is the kind of thing to take along eh. For when the fish isn't biting. I wonder if you throw it into boiling water if it would expand back to the original steak size One cow per bag.

I guess if the Egyptians have a similar thing it would be goat or camel. Saw some camels up close on Saturday at an outdoor show and they were pretty skinny. Or maybe that one got a bit dehydrated, could be the air pressure is too high for it, I mean we are right at the bottom of Africa you know.

The camel's feet looked in proportion to me.

 

Technology is getting worrisome. I worry when I have to walk past the garage door in the dark; there's a 3/4 HP motor and a computer on the other side, I think it talks to the motion detector, which knows I'm there ...

Pardon me for posting this in the Biltong thread

 

No problem Ancient, this is the place where the big knobs hang out...