BOAT JOKES (we need a few laughs)

[VKRUE]

Now, that's more like it

Cheers to you Ike...................


Frosty....
I'll not get into a debate over the existence of God with you, or anyone else here... especially on a so-called Theology thread.

God specifically stated..."You wicked people ask for a sign (proof of God's existance) but, there will be NO sign given". He was basically saying that he is tired of trying to prove his existance to people who honestly don't care yea or na...regardless of whatever sign or proof he provides... and that you will either believe or not believe.

I have not tried to force any of my beliefs on anyone... Your all big kids now, you can make your own choices... right

IMHO

[alan white]

Originally Posted by Frosty

Come on Alan get this religious thing going!! I cant wait.

By the way have you looked at evilbible.com good entertainment

Haven't checked that site yet. And I think a religious thread would be patently insane. I say that knowing I couldn't resist saying what I think, and that would be a baaaaaad idea.

[Frosty]

Your absalutely right Alan I dont think some of our memebers are mature enough to have a debate such as that.

I would srongly suggest that all of you take a look at evilebible.com

I have been there a few times and would appreciate someone elses comments /opinion.

[charmc]

Originally Posted by Frosty

I personally would thouroughly enjoy a gentlemans converstaion on religion or the bible etc. .... So whos going to start a religion thread.
I dont think it should be me.

Frosty, you coward!!

Actually, I would enjoy a gentleman's (and gentlewoman's) conversation on religion, the Bible, Qur' an, etc.

I forsee 2 difficulties, though: The first is keeping such discourse both mannerly and thoughtful. Alan hinted that he'd want to go beyond such bounds, against religion, I believe, although I could be wrong. Vkrue has stated that he'd not take part in such a discussion because of his strong belief in God and the Bible. Give him credit, by the way, for stating his strong convictions in a gentlemanly manner. Alan and Vkrue have demonstrated manners and thoughtfulness in the past; imagine what lesser minds might do with such a topic.

Vkrue's statement leads us to the second difficulty: that religion is a matter of faith. One believes or one does not. Assume for the sake of argument that the God of the monotheistic religions does exist. By definition, as a purely spiritual being who is the source of all that exists in the universe, and exists outside of and independent of that universe, God is beyond our human abilities to understand fully. Scientific proof or the lack thereof is irrelevant.

Having said that, I would welcome a place to have mannerly discussions about these and related topics. I'm not certain a religion thread would be allowed by the cross-dressing (According to Bergalia, that is. I'm just the messenger, Jeff ) moderator. Such discussions once took place in the ancient ports at the eastern end of the Mediterranean, where cargo was unloaded from boats in preparation for the overland caravans to the East, and where Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, pagans, and atheists sat in the taverns and coffeehouses and debated religion, philosophy, and politics with the understanding that anything could be debated, but all combat was verbal.

[charmc]

Evilbible.com certainly has some valid, but obvious, points about Old Testament quotes. The arguments aren't nearly as strong, nor as accurate, when the author of the site attacks the New Testament. The tone, though, sort of, "Ah've finally got the goods on those Christians, Ah'm gonna bring them down!", is a bit sophomoric. His "arguments" have been old news for centuries. Nothing new there, IMHO.

[Poida]

God specifically stated..."You wicked people ask for a sign (proof of God's existance) but, there will be NO sign given".

I've got no idea who reckons God told him that.

I was only talking to God myself earlier and he denies he's said that to anyone.

Poida

[charmc]

A pastor who loved sailing woke up one Sunday and could not resist the lure of the nearby bay, cloudless skies, and 15 knot breeze. He told the young assistant pastor he was sick and could not handle the services that day. Once the assistant had left, he snuck out the back door and made his way down to the pier, where he launched his Laser and sailed out into the bay. There he spotted two other Lasers manuevering for what looked like the start of a match race. He sailed nearer, and recognized Gary Jobson in one boat and Russell Couts in the other. Wanting to race but overwhelmed by the two greats of sailing, he timidly asked if he might join them. They agreed, and they they all set watches and started off to windward. The pastor lagged well behind at first, but as they beat to windward, he began to make up the distance, roll tacking like an Olympic champion and finding every gust of wind. He rounded the upwind buoy only seconds behind the others. Nearing the finish buoy, he pulled even, then crossed the finish line seconds ahead of two of sailing's greatest match racers.

From above, God and a young angel watched the race. "I can't believe You let him win!" said the young angel, "He lied and missed his duty to the church, and you rewarded him by letting him beat two of the world's best sailors in a race?" "Rewarded him", said God, "No, I punished him." "I don't understand," said the young angel. "Look at it this way," said God, "Who can he tell?"

[PI Design]

classic!

[Frosty]

Originally Posted by charmc

Evilbible.com certainly has some valid, but obvious, points about Old Testament quotes. The arguments aren't nearly as strong, nor as accurate, when the author of the site attacks the New Testament. The tone, though, sort of, "Ah've finally got the goods on those Christians, Ah'm gonna bring them down!", is a bit sophomoric. His "arguments" have been old news for centuries. Nothing new there, IMHO.

Well does it matter that he fails to keep up a very strong argument all the way through? I think what he was saying --and he does it very well, is that how could there be a god that does this-- bash babies against rocks, how to treat slaves, sell and to who your children. Raping is Ok, taking wifes for themselves, Etc Etc Etc horrendous quotations from the bible that I have to say that even after my very religious schooling i was not told this.

God said thought shalt not kill!! do you know what the penalty is for this--death.

The ten commandments in there entirity are a little different from the opening line.

God apparantly is quoted in the Bible to have on many occasions instructed the death of thousands, including oxen and thier beasts!!

I mean its there he challenges you to find him wrong. He quotes book and verse before he quotes a passage.

I had all religious tendancies bashed out of me at school. I dont need help in deciding anything. And if I feel I need some re confirmaton I just listen to the 6 O clock news.

[charmc]

Originally Posted by Frosty

Well does it matter that he fails to keep up a very strong argument all the way through? I think what he was saying --and he does it very well, is that how could there be a god that does this-- How to bash babies against rocks, how to treat slaves, how to sell and to who your children. Etc Etc Etc horrendous quotations from the bible that I have to say that even after my very religious schooling i was not told this.

I think it does matter that he fails to keep up a very strong argument all the way through. It matters also that he's simply rehashing arguments that are centuries old.

That I find him neither original nor particularly effective in his arguments does not mean that I am any less appalled at the Old Testament descriptions of Yahweh ordering or causing the slaughter of millions (in aggregate) of women, children, and infants.

I, like you, had religious training in school, and they omitted the icky parts in my school, too. Since then, though, I've learned the grownups' version. I read the Bible from cover to cover while in college, so I've known all this for a long time. Some days I think the greatest proof of God's existence is the fact that there are still so many believers, after all these millenia of humans screwing up religion.

I have interesting discussions with friends who believe that every word in the Bible (English language translation, King James version, derived from multiple earlier English translations of Greek and Hebrew texts with political intervention by King James I for the purpose of bolstering the position of the Church of England) is literally the word of God, so literally true. Well, maybe not literally true, since they all back away from killing their son if he should says he's gay, or from stoning their married sister to death if she should have an affair.

I am not in any way making fun of those who believe in the literal truth of the Bible. I simply point out some of the contradictions and horrible scenes of slaughter that make it impossible for me to accept it as literally true.

[Poida]

Shouldn't discussions about religion be in the drivel thread, or is there too much drivel to qualify?

[charmc]

I suppose there are those who would say that whenever we get off a strict boating topic, the result is pretty much all drivel.

[Frosty]

Nope I think -- we need a few laughs is the perfect place.

Jeees my points are dropping again, it was'nt just my idea you know,

[Ike]

All of this reminds me of a man I met while I was stationed in Salt Lake City Utah, He was a minister and just loved to sail. One of his parishoners sarcastically referred to him as a rag man (as opposed to stink potters) and the minister gently corrected him. "I prefer to call myself a man of the cloth"

[safewalrus]

Aint God in the boating thread? what the hell was it Noah built then? a block of flats? .........nah aint got the same ring has it?

Noah go build a block of flats and fill it with animals (bit like a typical London suburb) and I'll make it rain for weeks and you'll save them all! Not with the price of gas these days you won't never be able to cook for them all, and what if the drains become blocked? it'll stink to high heaven (Precisely quoth God) - naw can't see it catching on, back to the drivel thread methinks!

As for this monotheism, can't see any respecting God wanting to talk to himself all the time either -that won't catch on!