Boat Jokes (we need a few laughs)

No No...

Hello...

I did NOT lose a leg - oh nevermind...

SH.

 

Nam...

Hello...

I did not lose a leg in Nam....

You got two legs...

Like I said - I did not lose a leg in Nam...

SH.

 

Do you need a hand or a leg? or are you pleased to look at Manie's crew? - I think some of them are quite comely....

 

The wife mows the lawn. I don't touch the stuff. If I get may way I'll pave the whole f yard.

Now the wife has a special lawn mower. I call it a fcuking wolf.

This fcuking wolf lawn mower is always in the way. There is not a place you can put it where it is not a problem. Ergonomically specially shaped so it does not fit in where it is out of the way, neither does it fit in anywhere else.

If there is one thing I would derive pleasure in destroying it will be this fcuking wolf lawn mower. I hate this fcukin thing. Fcuk !

Talk about losing things. I'll lose my head over this mower, never mind a leg or an arm

 

Miss Stress

Hello...

Check her out early in the morning...

Displacement up a little - wine in the bilge...

Still looks good thru her stations - hogging out a little in profile - little loose in plan - but - still good thru her stations...

Leaks a little - about once a month - a few pumps seem to handle it...

Deck is going grey in the sun - but a little oil gets her some sheen...

The diesel in her belly coughs and burps a lot - but she still looks good under white sails...

Guess I will have to keep her a bit longer - another year at least...

Her moorage costs keep going up every year...

But hell - I married her...

SH.

 

That was good

 

Burnt my thumb the other day, I touched a piece of steel that I had just heated up. Then the day after I sliced it open with a Stanley knife right on the burn blister,) Yes it did hurt.

I dont know why I am so fking stupid these days, Its not fking funny.

Its gone hard and black now and I cant start nuts and bolts N stuff like that.
Im going to the bank to get some MORE fking money out, washing machine spit the dummy yesterday, No im not fking laughing.

 

EDIT
NFP rude words deleted read your email notification...

 

Problem Solving Flowsheet

This has been on the wall of my office for years.

 

Gronicle

Frosty, the tool we each have is caller a gronicle and when used on the port side it goes counter clockwise and on the starboard side it goes clockwise. If yours is made in Europe then it is metric. Stan

 

Mr. Sponberg...

Hello...

Cheers on - MOLOKA’I STRAIT 72 - very damned nice...

See - http://www.boatdesign.net/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/11306/ppuser/3673 - still a personal favourite...

Happy Holidays...

SH.

 

Its the gronicle that I burned my thumb with, its a bit tricky at first. The end bit that has to be heated before application of the standard paste has no guard on and I had a serious accident.

The chuck on the drill attachment was loose as well. Im sure I will get there in the end.

 

errr...I can see the boat....... äm... where to look for the joke?

 

Sean,

Thank you for your kudos. That is nice to know that you worked on Delfin's refit. I recently saw the article on Delfin in the August 2008 issue of Passagemaker magazine and saw you were mentioned in the article--good work.

Apex1--there is no joke. Sean's picture of Delfin is a sister ship to another yacht called Ulysses which was the Romsdal trawler that I used for inspiration for the Moloka'i Strait series. We started out designing the hull on the small side, but we soon came to realize that a boat like Ulysses really does not have much room. So we went wider and heavier and ended up with the Moloka'i Strait 65.

By the way, Soundings Magazine is doing a feature on the Moloka'i Strait 65, specifically Atlantic Ranger, coming up in their February issue which will be out about the first or second week of January. There is mention in the article of the Romsdal and Malahide trawlers as exemplars of the type.

Eric

 

BOAT JOKES or joake with boats?

It was a rainy, gray summerday, the German coast of the Baltic sea drown in drizzle. A "Swan 48"
( a rare and precious boat at these days in the early 70´s) dashed into the marina. The main was down already,
the engine running but the jib still set. Obviously the better part of the master did´nt manage to get the sail
down and he was arguing and shouting to get his rotten crew to function. Shifting winds drove them to end up right
amidships in an old, wooden "Trojan" Sportsfisher which then would have been cut in halves. The very last moment the mighty
skipper managed to find the reverse gear and steamed, full throttle astern, into the granite breakwater. The rudder
bent into the prop, the engine gave up, the desaster was complete. Nearly complete... the jib still was up....
A gentle gust pushed this disgraceful pile of misery off the rocks and towards a narrow space between the "Trojan" and
a little yoghurt cup.
The moment the bow touched the pier, the jib fell down, no, no miracle, the jammed shackle gave up.
With nothing to steer, nothing to command, the fine example of hubris and seamanship now entered the crews workstation,
still shouting and arguing.
Meanwhile the harbourmaster was at the spot of entertainment, unnoticed by the couple. Was he going to get his harvest or
just out to assist, who nows.
"After all you should be happy" the skipper grunted towards his innocent spouse, " that the shi-ty weather held all the
people below deck, otherwise all ""Timmendorf"" (a little village in the Lübeck bay) would have loughed at you!"
From the background the unmistakeable voice of the harbourmaster gave the annotation "don´t worry they did´nt notice"
"Jepp, except you" the (no longer) mighty skipper replied frightened.
"Ahh..me...jah... but, I will not tell them, they are behind horizon.. we are in ""Schilksee"".............

May be seen as a joke (there was more than one boat in it)... but happened as told to the audience.
"Schilksee" is a suburb of "Kiel" well known for the "Kieler Woche", clear without ambiguity about 80 miles away from
"Timmendorf" and has only one thing in common... it is at the east coast of Germany.

Btw I bought the boat for less than half the price.. right the same day.


and please forgive any misuse of interpunction or language.